GOAL

I'm 90% I didn't do the last few days on my 14 days of Love blog thing. I was so out of it on cold medication last week I honestly don't care. I'm finally coming through the worst of it though. My sore throat has disappeared and now I'm just a walking bucket of snot. Which actually isn't too bad; at least I can blow my nose and move on with my life without having to take intense medication that makes me a walking zombie.

So I spent a couple of days doing my best to map out my financial future. It's imbedded in my DNA to try to plan and organize even if it's silly. My life sometimes feels like a series of jokes and downfalls of my plans. What is that saying? "Best laid plans"? I'm making this financial map with a big, giant, humongous grain of salt. I know things occur, I know bad stuff comes up, I know that there will always be road blocks to my goals. HOWEVER, I will work my hardest to reach my goal so I can finally be debt free.

Using an Excel spreadsheet I worked out the numbers if I continue to pay $1745.60 a month in student loans. My original deal with Wells Fargo was a $90,000 loan on a 30 year repayment plan that when calculated with interest will eventually cost me around $230,000 to pay back. BUT, if I stick to my twice a month payment planing (paying a total of $1745.60 a month) I will finish paying off my loan by April 1st of 2018.

It's both amazing and heartbreaking for me to potentially be free of this loan in 5 years. Amazing because not many people can rid themselves of such a large amount of debt in such a short amount of time. Heartbreaking because even though I'll finally be free of debt I'm going to have to miss out on so much. I'll be 33 the time this is (maybe) over. Only then will I be able to start saving for a house and that will take me a few years to do. By the time I can afford a house payment I'll be (probably) 35 or 36. Only then will it be responsible to have children (at least for me). I'm still partially on the fence about having children but I know that if I was to have them I'd want it to be earlier than that. I sometimes think it's best to put away certain life plans because it makes me feel too sad about my current situation. Luckily, I doubt I'll ever get married which (for me) is such a blessing because I could never afford a wedding (even one of those super adorable cheap-y Pinterest weddings).

I don't want this post to be a super bum out, even if I am feeling pretty bummed out right about now. For the past few years my heart has been pulled toward fostering children. Maybe this whole debt thing is to prevent me from having my own biological children because I have a bunch of lovely foster children just waiting for me. I would love to hit 33, be debt free, start creating my dream home and then bringing in loads and loads of children who just need love. I babysit for a friend of mine sometimes and baby's are hard. They crawl everywhere and it's your job to teach this little thing how to be a person. That's a pretty insane thing to do. When you foster children you get this lovely little human who pretty much already knows the basics and it's your job to love them and give them a better home than what they came from. How easy is that?!?! These children come from terrible homes with drug addicted and abusive parents. To be a great parent to them you just have to be there and be healthy and loving. I'm awesome at that.

I figured out a way to make this repayment a little easier to swallow. A reward system (a reward other than the joy I get from not being in debt). Every time I pay off $10,000 in principle I get to buy myself a present. With each $10,000 principle pay off the gifts can get better. They can be whatever I want. I've estimated paying off $10,000 in principle by September 2013 and I've already started thinking about what I want. Nice makeup? Some new clothes? Basically, I want to drop $50-$100 on myself. Yes, that money could go towards my loans but it's nice to treat yourself.