1 Minute Kahlua Brownie in a Cup

I have the worst sweet tooth of all time. OF ALL TIME. I love cake like a fat kid loves cake. As a child this love did in fact contribute to me being a fat kid. And while there's nothing wrong with being fat (or chubby!) in any way that's not really a place I want to go back to.

I've battled with my sweet desires as best I can. For instance, after Girls Night I force any left over sweets on my friends. Most of them live with husbands/boyfriends so the sugar can be split evenly where as in my case if I take a pan of brownies home all of them will be shoved into my gaping mouth hole. Another key tactic is to just not buy the junk, if there is a pint of ice cream in the freezer I will eat it all.

Unfortunately I can't be strong all of the time but there are ways to get a sugar fix without busting my pants! A few years ago I discovered the most beautiful thing in the world: Single serving brownie in a mug ready in one minute. So perfect. So simple. Now instead of trying to portion out a pan of brownies when a craving hits I can just make one brownie and enjoy!

Recipe

1 T Vegetable oil
1 T Water
dash salt
1 T Unsweetened cocoa powder
2 T Granulated sugar
2 T Flour

**The recipe at the link has the portions doubled and also has vanilla but I prefer a smaller portion (sometimes) and no vanilla.

Now, if you've been following this blog I'm sure you know booze helps me through most of life. Not that my life is particularly hard but anyone who spends as much time as I do on hold with Wells Fargo needs some fucking liquor. That is why I, in all my glory and wisdom, have improved the wonderful Brownie in a Cup recipe.

Kahlua Brownie in a Cup

1 T Vegetable oil
1 T Kahlua (or more, you know, for flavor and shit)
dash salt
1 T Unsweetened cocoa powder
2 T Granulated sugar
2 T Flour

So wonderful and goes nicely with Pour Girls Kahlua Cocoa:

Soy Milk

Kahlua

Cocoa

Enough marshmallows to kill a man

I find booze-y sweets very nice as I sit in my apartment and contemplate breaking up with my boyfriend and possible crying....a lot. Ah, the joys of my mid-twenties.

I don't want this post to end on such a sour/sad note so here is a picture that gets me through hard times:

Have you ever seen anything so wonderful????

Wells Fargo is Mind Fucking Me

So after weeks of pure hell trying to deal with Wells Fargo it looks like I might finally get my loans consolidated. YAY, right? NOPE. It appears that Wells Fargo is the king of mind fucks. Seriously, I doubt anyone could touch the bull shit this bank has put me and my family through.

If you remember my original loan monthly payment was $821. My new monthly re payment is......* Drum roll*


Yep, $748.68!! A whooping saving of $72.32. After weeks of tears and stress and ulcers that kept me up at night it's all worth it because I saved less than a hundred-fucking-dollars. Don't worry it gets better.

As it turns out I have a special relationship with Wells Fargo. So special that I get a MASSIVE discount of 0.250%. All along I thought Wells Fargo was fucking me out of hate and spite but it's clear they're fucking up my life out of love.

I always thought I was good at math but after looking at this bank statement it's clear that I know nothing about numbers. I borrowed around $80,000 which is somehow $91,000 and then $91,000 equals $224,000. SUPER. I could have gotten a better deal with the mob. The original amount of $821 a month projected I end up paying around $147,000...how did consolidation make it worse????

I fucking hate this whole thing. I should have never gone back to school, the increase I get in pay with another degree will never equal what I will pay out in a life time. I feel like I will never escape this debt. It feels like a punishment, a life sentence of stress. I'd have an easier time trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon. It's to the point I'm starting to think crazy thoughts, like, maybe I should do porn or nude photos. So glad I got a great education that can only be paid back through whore-dom. Also, throwing myself in front of a city bus or maybe black mailing a politician. Both equally appealing at this point in my life. Charging my boyfriend for sex? SEEMS REASONABLE. Rob a casino a la Oceans Eleven? TOTALLY DOABLE.

I'm emailing friends asking if they know about jobs, I'm picking up shifts at my old work, I'm trolling Craigslist like a fiend. I just want to live in world where re-paying my student loans doesn't mean killing myself with work or having to live the life of a pauper.

Since there's nothing I can do about this bullshit (at least at this point and time) I'm going to use the last hours of my day off to drown myself in a bottle of skunk wine and television. Also, eventually brownies. And yes, I did say skunk wine. I have to drink old skunk-y wine because I can't afford a $5 bottle of Yellow Tail.

p.s. please buy stuff from my Ebay. Please.

Awesome Week Rap-Up

So Fun Fun Fun Fest was a blast. I wasn't able to attend Sunday but the shows on Friday and Saturday were amazing. The tickets were around $160 for the 3 day fest (purchased before my financial crisis....or sort of at the beginning....the line up was totally worth breaking out my credit cards).

Despite the hefty ticket price I didn't spend that much money. I transferred $50 from my Pay Pal account to fund whatever I might need. It was nice to know that I had earned enough money through re-selling to fund some fun. The fest was located downtown and I was worried about the parking situation. I found out that my job provides free parking at a garage downtown so for the two days that I went I didn't pay anything for parking and I only had to walk a block to the show. My tummy's been on the fritz all week so I wasn't craving a ton of alcohol which was good because booze was hella expensive. A 24 oz can of beer was $9 :(

So giant in my tiny, tiny hand.

The crowd was giant and the line up was amazing.

The crowd behind me at M83.

The crowd in front of me at M83.

Sno Cone heaven.

The Damned closing out the night on Saturday.

After Fun Fun Fun I didn't think my week could get any better or be topped in any way. Then my girlfriends surprised me with a sweet Dia de los Muertes themed birthday party.

Tres Leches cake.

The amazing spread.

So my week has been amazing. I have great friends and I'm eating left over cake for lunch. I still haven't heard anything about a second job which is upsetting but I'll figure it out. Jewelry sales have been steady and good, I'm not rich but I'm getting good reviews and that makes me happy. I'll probably order a few more pieces and really push hard for Christmas. Life is really good.