Best and Worst of 2012

Another year has gone by and I want to try my hand at another "Best of" list. This list is "me" specific but I like documenting the highs of this past year. So without further ado here the best things of 2012.

Best Author: Gillian Flynn

A few months ago I briefly tried my hand at being in a book club. The book club didn't work out due to no one wanting to pick the second book out but that is neither here nor there. What did work out was our first choice, Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. A few of my girlfriends had read it early in the year and raved about it but I just never had any motivation to go out and pick it up. I'm so glad that I finally did. Flynn is seriously one of my favorite new authors. Almost immediately after finishing Gone Girl I picked up her two other books, Sharp Objects and Dark Places. She knows how to beautifully write about woman struggling with darkness and about the nature of evil. I would recommend her to anyone who loves dark and twisting novels.

Best Guy: My Boo

Okay, this is not meant to be cheesy or lame (and yet, I know it's going to be) but dang am I happy with my guy. I have ALWAYS dated the bad boy or the wild guy. You know, they don't own a car (or it's a giant pile of junk) and maybe their cell phones turned off because they can't afford the bill and they really hate their retail job but they never apply for another job and they're emotionally distant and irresponsible. I have dated dudes with tattoos on their heads and no other ambitions but to work at the coffee house/music shop/record store. But then I tried my hand at dating a guy with his life together and man oh man I don't know why I didn't do this sooner. Seriously, my boyfriend is amazing. He's one of the best cooks I have ever known, he tucks me in every night when I have to go to bed early because of my job. He's a fearless killer of bugs and he's so warm and open and lovely. I have honestly never been happier. Guys like him make me realize why people still get married, before I could never understand how people could do it, it seemed terrifying. But now it just makes sense, when you find someone so perfect you never let them go.

Best New Development: Self Acceptance

I'm not trying to get new age-y here but getting older has rocked. When I was younger I sort of feared the aging process, it seemed less fun and glamorous. I was out of my mind, every year that passes I am happier and more myself. I feel more at ease with who I am and what my life is than ever before. I like my looks and my body and all these hang ups that I used to have are no longer an issue in my life.Take for instance my weight. I have never been terribly over weight but growing up I really struggled with self image and my size. I was always a few inches taller and a few pounds heavier then every girl I knew. I was so self conscious over my looks. At one point in my life I was really heavy which I then counteracted by becoming entirely too thin. But over the last couple of years I've sort of figured it all out. I love food, I probably have an unhealthy relationship with it. I love food for it's taste rather than for the fact that it's simply fuel for my body. Through a pretty healthy balance of working out, eating good most of the times and allowing myself treats I have found a way to manage my weight without losing my mind. I'm 5'9" and range between 130 lbs and 140 lbs. I run, I do yoga and I also eat cake and drink wine. I'm happy.

Best Career Move: My New Job

I am so in love with my new job. So freaking in love. I get to do work that really excites me and pushes me mentally and physically. I am trying new things that used to scare me and I'm making more money than I ever could at my old job. I am so thankful to God and the universe for getting me to this place. Again, not trying to get new age-y but I feel so beyond blessed for this opportunity and this career path. There were so many qualified candidates for this position and I'm so humbled that I was thought one of the best to do the job.

  

Best Movies and TV: Dark Knight Rises, The Avengers, and Homeland

I love action movies and I love comic books. The last couple of years there have been so many amazing comic movies put out but this year saw two of my favorites. After watching all of the super heroes tales finally seeing them all come together in The Avengers was so rewarding. I loved that movie (which shouldn't be that surprising because I'm a giant Joss Whedon nerd). I loved the final film in the Dark Knight series, it had such heart was beautifully acted. And dang, has Homeland been such an amazing series to get into. So many twists and turns and you never know who to trust or who's working for the other side. 

Worst of 2012

I've never done a "Worst of " but there were a few things that occurred this year that deserve to be called out for how horrible/tragic/annoying that they are.

Worst Repeat Crime: Mass Shootings

I believe in the right for citizens to own guns. I don't think more laws against guns is the solution because criminals will never follow laws and there should not be an added burden to law abiding citizens. But there has to be something done about these mass shootings that are occurring throughout the US. The last shoot at Sandy Hook broke my heart. We as a country need to come together to figure out a way to stop violence without giving up too many of our rights. Let's stop funneling money to wasteful and useless in devours and start helping those suffering with mental illness. 

Worst Government Issue: Fiscal Cliff

It is so beyond frustrating that Republicans and Democrats are so focused on one upping each other that our country is on the brink of this Fiscal Cliff bullshit. Poor people should not be paying more in taxes than billionaires. That's ridiculous. However, I do agree that companies that provide jobs and economic boosts should benefit from some tax cuts. There has to be a way to find a happy median. Let's work together to fix this country and benefit all instead of the few.

Worst Big Bad Company: Wells Fargo

I feel slightly ill including my student loan issues in the same category as the horrible tragedy that killed children but banks like Wells Fargo (and any other that bank that holds student loans) should be ashamed of their behavior. This country has something like a trillion dollars in student loan debt. I am hard working and totally willing to pay off my debts but when I pay nearly $800 a month in loans (with only $100 going towards principal) I will never get out from under this debt. I believe that there has to be something we can do so banks can get their money back and students like me can pay off their debts without living in the poor house.

So I guess that's my lists. It's been a wonderful year and I'm so thankful for my life and my loved ones. I hope 2013 is even better than this lovely year.

Checking in on 2012 Resolutions

Considering it's a few days until I start to compile my new list of resolutions I thought it was be nice to see how I did on this years resolutions. Let's take a look at the list:

2012 Resolutions:
Resolutions
1. Join a library/read more: This was perhaps the easiest "resolution" to accomplish. Honestly it was more like a To-Do list item than a life change resolution but it was was easier to hold myself accountable for that then some vague "live life to the fullest" bullshit. I have definitely discovered some amazing (and not so amazing) books and authors out there. I think I might to a best of 2012 list or something just so I can have a whole post dedicated to nerding out on amazing literature.

2. Lose weight: Sort of? I've definitely hit a plateau weight wise (stuck at 141-143) but my body looks much better. I started mixing in more weight training to my usually cardio and my legs look amazing! Being a pear shaped person I never thought I could have a thigh gap and now at certain stances I do and it's wonderful. I have a lot of fitness goals for next year that I'm really excited about incorporating into my life.

3. Run more/run 10k in less than an hour: Yes and no. In the last month the weather has been absolutely divine and running has been a breeze (winters in Texas=mid 70s to 80s and sunny). I've worked myself up to around 4 or 5 miles which is just shy of a 10k but I have big plans to sign up for the Capital 10k next year and I'm very excited!

4. Pay off debt: So getting there. I got a new job that pays SO much more than my old job (as in, $10,000 more a year more) and I have a totally doable plan to save at least $1000 a month and make large chunk payments each year. No matter what my $89,000 debt is going to take YEARS to pay off but if I can scrimp and save now and pay off some of that God awful interest then each of my monthly payments will go towards more than they currently do. Sometime soon I'll make an update post about my finances.

5. Second job: Yes and no! I spent a good portion of the beginning of the year desperately trying to get a second job but no one wanted to work around my insane work schedule (understandably). But life has a way of helping you out sometime and I was able to start babysitting a friends kid as well as picking up shifts at my old job. Even though sometimes I'm absolutely exhausted (working 6am to 10m is a killer) I am so thankful that I have people in my life who think of me when it comes to doling out work hours and extra cash. 

6. Date up: Destroyed this one. Absolutely crushed it. Last year at Christmas time I had just recently broken up with a dude (who was mostly nice but made extremely questionable life choices) and this year I'm in a beautiful house with a man that I love more than anything. Funny the places where life can take you, huh? My honey and I had been friends for a few months and went on a date in January and I haven't looked back since. We moved in together a few months ago and while there have been some growing pains (I'm a clean freak, he is not) it's lovely to share a home with someone again. He is so patient and loving and understand and I am so thankful for his presence in my life.

7. Take myself on dates: I don't know why I made this a resolution. One of the strangest things about me is that I love being alone. When friends of mine talk about how terrible it is to spend the holidays single or how strong I was for being single for so long I just never get it. Being single and/or alone can be pretty rocking. I would work whenever I wanted to and for as many hours as I wanted to then I would come home and eat exactly what I wanted and watch any TV or movie that I wanted and drink whiskey and any mess that was in my house would be mine and I would know exactly why it was there and when it would be cleaned up. It was lovely. Now, I think I can talk about loving being alone because it was my choice/preferance. I have an amazing family I can see anytime I want, I have wonderful friends to hang out with, and honestly getting a date was never really that hard (finding a great man to date, now that's a challenge!).

8. Craft more: Ugh, nope. I want to be craft so badly but every craft just seems like an unreasonable waste of money. I think I'm spreading myself a little too thin, I follow all of these DIY blogs and I'm trying to do too much too soon. I'll pick a few craft projects for next year and see how those go before I start to invest a lot of money.

Changes!!!

So I'm really gung-ho about making some positive changes in my life right now. First step: I've changed my "About Me" from "Broke ass wino trying to get out of debt" to "Broke ass wino trying to improve my life in every way without the use of money". After my life semi-depressing entry I started to really think about what I wanted and how I could get it. My whole life I've been poor and it's never really bothered me because I'm (usually) a happy, healthy, and thankful person. But there's this idea in modern American culture that the ONLY way to improve ANY part of your life is by spending money. Want to get fit? Better dole out lots of cash on expensive gyms and organic foods. Want to be happy? You need all of the latest gadgets and gizmos and a big fancy house. IT'S CRAZY.

Just because I'm broke (and I mean seriously broke, I have less than a $1 in my bank until payday this Friday) doesn't mean that I can't live the best possible life. I can get fit, I can have happy relationships, I can have a beautiful home. Yes, it would probably be much, much easier if I had money but it's not impossible!

So! What's my plan?
1. Get Fit: I mentioned in my last post that I wanted to lose weight/get fit. How can I do this without money?? The two main parts of fitness are diet and exercise. I joined a gym years ago and the $30 bucks it costs me a month completely works in my budget. BUT it's also possible to workout with out a gym. The internet is amazing. Go to Youtube and find exercise clips, go to a free park and do lunges and situps. Run around the local high school football field. Honestly, the only reason I even joined a gym is because running outside in the Texas heat can cause some serious damage to a girl as pale as I am.

There's this idea that eating healthy has to cost a pretty penny. You know what makes grocery shopping cost  a lot?? Poor meal planning. Right now it's summer and fruits are incredible cheap. Last time I went grocery shopping I got a whole seedless watermelon, nectarines, beans, quinoa, and a few other items for less then $20 bucks. Shop the bulk food and whole food sections. A bag of beans costs $1 and makes 4 times as much as 1 can of pre made black beans. It also has less sodium. Right now I'm chowing down on 1 cup cooked quinoa and 1 cup cooked black beans all for about 442 calories.

Now, the hard part about dieting and getting fit is you have to find what works for YOU. I've mentioned before I really love The Token Fat Girl and she posted today about how, for her, counting calories is a waste and leads to counter productive eating. For me, I need to count calories because I can become SO consumed by my competitive nature and try to eat less and less that I end up GAINING weight because my body isn't getting what it needs. It seems odd that in order to lose weight you have to eat more sometimes but it's true. If you're body is working out too much and not getting the right nutrition your metabolism is going to shut down. I have a handy (and FREE!) app on my iPhone that helps me keep tabs. It's insane that I can snack all day and then when I check my calories I'm still a few hundred away from my goal.

2. Get out of Debt: This one is hardy and will take the longest. Right now I'm in a rough spot. Life has been doling out the usual stuff (dead car battery, dentist, bad tire, etc) and, like I said above, I have $1 left in my account. I'm just really thankful that my apartment is taking their sweet time to cash my rent check so hopefully I can make it until Friday. But by the end of this year I'm hoping that I'll be in a much better spot: paying less in rent and paying more towards my loan. This loan isn't going to go away over night and with the interest rates the first few years are going to be the hardest but I know that I can pay it off.

3. Be Happy: This one is pretty ridiculous but I don't see any reason why I can's live an awesome and fun life  just because I'm broke. My situation is a little different because my boyfriend has money so I still get to do fun things because he can pay but even if he wasn't around I think it's entirely possible to be poor and happy. I'm lucky that I live in Austin that has so many fun and free things. Free movies in the park, gorgeous rivers and green belts open to the public, opportunities to volunteer to help others, the list goes on and on. Yes, I'd probably be REALLY happy if I had millions of dollars and could pay off all of my debts and travel the world but I don't NEED money to be happy.

ALSO:
I just finished two really amazing books that I want to recommend. I mentioned that I joined a library a few months ago and they've started to offer eBooks to rent. Afterwards by Rosamund Lupton and Never Look Away by Linwood Barclay. Plus this helps me reach my goal of two books a month! I figure, those two books can take care of June and sometime tonight I'll see about downloading two new books for July. 

New Years Resolutions 2012

So it's a new year which means new changes, new me, etc. I usually try not to make resolutions because for the most part they are relatively impossible to keep. So this year I decided to switch up my usually resolutions. Instead of creating a list of vague hopes that are impossible to measure I've decided to make a simple check list. A list of black and white and absolutely no gray. A girl at my work made a resolution to think more positively. How do you measure that? How do you hold yourself accountable? I'm not down with that level of uncertainty so my list is easy; either I do these things this year or I don't. No gray area. No confusion. Just how I like it :)

Resolutions
1. Join a library/read more: My overall hopes/dreams for this year would be to finally gather the courage to cut my cable (don't judge my addiction) and entertain my self through Netflix, the movies at the library, and books. Cutting the cable would save me around $50 bucks a month and I might actually have free time to go out and live life instead of watching 19 hours of Law and Order on my days off. I remember as a child I used to LOVE reading but then reading became a chore for school and my passion faded. I want to rekindle my love for literature.

2. Lose weight: UGH, I hate this resolution. Honestly, I like my body (it looks pretty banging) but ever since I stopped being a vegan I've been "vacation eating". You know how when you're on vacation you eat like shit 24/7 but it's nothing to feel bad about because you're on vacation? It's similar to birthday eating. Well, I've started to drift to a scary, I could gain a million pounds and end up on the Biggest Loser place. I know some of the weight gain was due to not being able to run due to sickness. In one week I started running again, cutting the skin off of my chicken, and switching back to soy milk for my morning coffee and I lost 7 lbs. Being a non-vegan during holidays is ROUGH. Treats and eats everywhere. So I've just got to go back to normal eating and exercise.

3. Run more/run 10k in less than an hour: I love running but I've been making a lot of excuses to get out of it lately. I signed up for a running class to train for a 5k and my hopes is that I can do the Capital 10k in a few months. I did it a few years ago and I felt so proud of myself. I think my time was something lame like 1 hour 14 minutes so I want to cut that time by a few minutes. I know I'm completely capable of doing this I just have to hold myself accountable.

4. Pay off debt: I already have the money saved up for my second loan payment. My goal this year is to pay off my UT loan and then consolidate my loan again and hopefully get a lower payment.

5. Second job: So this goes along with Resolution #4. If I can get a steady 2nd job I would be that much closer to paying off my debt. I absolutely hate living with debt and the more I can pay off the happier I'll be. Unfortunately getting a second job has been harder than I originally imagined.

6. Date up: I honestly prefer the single lifestyle BUT if I do date someone this year I really, really want to date up. I hope that doesn't come off as conceded or asshole-y but I have to stop dating dudes who don't have their shit together. If I date I want to date a guy with a working car that is up to state code. Nothing sames lame like having to drive everywhere because your boyfriend has no vehicle. I want a nice guy who has his shit together as much, if not more, than I do.

7. Take myself on dates: Just because I'm broke doesn't mean I don't have to treat myself with kindness. I want to take myself to movies or dinners or just do nice things. Spending $20 bucks on myself once a month isn't really doing to make that much of a difference in my student loans.

8. Craft more: I really want to turn this blog into something cute, filled with great recipes and DIY crafts. Someplace with awesome tips on saving money and ways to still decorate and live life but on the cheap. I like what I've done so far and I really want to continue.

ALSO: I finally got off my lazy ass and posted more items to my Ebay store (or just relisted some of the items that I had taken off). Take a look HERE.