Revisiting my thankful place...

First let's start this post with the required, "I'm terrible at updating this thing...blah blah blah...I swear to post more...blah blah blah".

The past few weeks I hit a bit of a rough spot. Just felt really bummed about my place in life. I'm 27 and I'm no where near these big life events that I think I should be. Luckily, I'm feeling so much better and happier and I realized that it's been far too long since I posted things that I'm thankful for. I spend so much time on this blog complaining about my debt and my bills and I should focus more on the riches I do have.

What I'm Thankful For:
1. Paying off my debt: in the past three months I have paid off THREE times as much of my principle debt than I have in the past year. The first year that I was paying off my college loan I only knocked off about $1200 in principle now I'm knocking off around that much each month. It's been incredible hard to see so much of my check go each month to bills but I know at the end of this year I'll be so much happier and that much closer to ultimately paying my debt off.

2. My friends and family: I have such supportive and amazing family. That really all there is to it. In this wild and crazy world I have so many people that I love that love me back and that's really very special.

3. My boyfriend: Yeah, he gets a number all his own. I seriously love this guy. I never thought I would live with someone again and now I can't imagine living without him. When he's not home I get so sad and when we're together it's the best part of my day. Our work schedules are completed jacked and we sometimes go days with only seeing each other briefly at night but last night we actually went to bed at the same time and it was so nice. Just to lay with him and laugh and fall asleep together.

4. My job: I really do love my job and even on days where it's hard I'm still so luckily to do what I love.  I was able to go from a job with low pay and terrible treatment to a job with amazing pay, great hours, and awesome co-workers. I'm really blessed.


There's a million more daily things I'm thankful for: great weather, good running trails, Dr Who on instant Netflix, insane genes that allow me to eat my weight in sugar and not get diabetes, sunshine, laughter, and so much more. Even though it's taking me a few months to save the extra cash I'm finally going to be able to buy a sewing machine and I'm so excited to start sewing again. I want to try my hand at DIY clothes/up cycling and quilting. I'm hoping to be able to post more about cheap DIY projects.

Day 10: More Sugar Infographics

I'm really hoping to be done with this "craving sugar all day can't stop thinking about it" phase of my no dessert plan. Yesterday was a little better, my boyfriend picked up a Kellogg brand cereal that had a sweet flavor so I had a small bowl when the cravings got too bad. While I know it had sugar in it it's still better (at least in my mind) than a heavily sugared dessert. 

In my quest to make sugar less appealing I bring to you more infographics about how terrible sugar can be in large quantities. Nursing Your Sweet Tooth by Friends Eat:

It estimates that the average American consumes about 130 lbs of sugar of year. Since my sweet tooth is not so average I'm guessing I eat roughly my body weight in sugar each year. I tell myself that I'm healthy because I don't drink sodas but there are some months that I eat ice cream Every. Single. Day. Le sigh.

Day 4

It's Day 4 of my no sugar challenge and it's going surprisingly well. Last night was Girls Night and there were cookies and other sweets around but I managed to avoid the temptation. I'm still feeling slightly sluggish and off but I know it'll get easier in the next couple of days. I'm excited to see what changes might come in the next few weeks as my body adapts to life with out desserts.

I've also decided to make a change (already!) to my new years resolutions. After some research I've found that it's better to make more than one monthly payment instead of making a large chunk payment.

This is the plan:
Make my usual $745 payment on the first of every month
Make ANOTHER payment of $745 on the 15th of each month.
Put the remainder of the $1000 I had planned on saving (around $255) into saving for a future down payment on a house.

This way, instead of most of my money going towards interest I'm really working at slicing it every two weeks AND I can save for a house. My hope is that I'll have enough paid down and enough saved up that when I turn 30 I can start looking at buying a house. I've already pulled up mortgage calculates and a house valued around $160,000 with a 30 year repayment plan at 7% has a monthly payment of around $1100 a month which is something I could totally swing in 3 years.

I finally feel like I have a chance to pay off my loans and still save for a house of my very own.

Checking in on 2012 Resolutions

Considering it's a few days until I start to compile my new list of resolutions I thought it was be nice to see how I did on this years resolutions. Let's take a look at the list:

2012 Resolutions:
Resolutions
1. Join a library/read more: This was perhaps the easiest "resolution" to accomplish. Honestly it was more like a To-Do list item than a life change resolution but it was was easier to hold myself accountable for that then some vague "live life to the fullest" bullshit. I have definitely discovered some amazing (and not so amazing) books and authors out there. I think I might to a best of 2012 list or something just so I can have a whole post dedicated to nerding out on amazing literature.

2. Lose weight: Sort of? I've definitely hit a plateau weight wise (stuck at 141-143) but my body looks much better. I started mixing in more weight training to my usually cardio and my legs look amazing! Being a pear shaped person I never thought I could have a thigh gap and now at certain stances I do and it's wonderful. I have a lot of fitness goals for next year that I'm really excited about incorporating into my life.

3. Run more/run 10k in less than an hour: Yes and no. In the last month the weather has been absolutely divine and running has been a breeze (winters in Texas=mid 70s to 80s and sunny). I've worked myself up to around 4 or 5 miles which is just shy of a 10k but I have big plans to sign up for the Capital 10k next year and I'm very excited!

4. Pay off debt: So getting there. I got a new job that pays SO much more than my old job (as in, $10,000 more a year more) and I have a totally doable plan to save at least $1000 a month and make large chunk payments each year. No matter what my $89,000 debt is going to take YEARS to pay off but if I can scrimp and save now and pay off some of that God awful interest then each of my monthly payments will go towards more than they currently do. Sometime soon I'll make an update post about my finances.

5. Second job: Yes and no! I spent a good portion of the beginning of the year desperately trying to get a second job but no one wanted to work around my insane work schedule (understandably). But life has a way of helping you out sometime and I was able to start babysitting a friends kid as well as picking up shifts at my old job. Even though sometimes I'm absolutely exhausted (working 6am to 10m is a killer) I am so thankful that I have people in my life who think of me when it comes to doling out work hours and extra cash. 

6. Date up: Destroyed this one. Absolutely crushed it. Last year at Christmas time I had just recently broken up with a dude (who was mostly nice but made extremely questionable life choices) and this year I'm in a beautiful house with a man that I love more than anything. Funny the places where life can take you, huh? My honey and I had been friends for a few months and went on a date in January and I haven't looked back since. We moved in together a few months ago and while there have been some growing pains (I'm a clean freak, he is not) it's lovely to share a home with someone again. He is so patient and loving and understand and I am so thankful for his presence in my life.

7. Take myself on dates: I don't know why I made this a resolution. One of the strangest things about me is that I love being alone. When friends of mine talk about how terrible it is to spend the holidays single or how strong I was for being single for so long I just never get it. Being single and/or alone can be pretty rocking. I would work whenever I wanted to and for as many hours as I wanted to then I would come home and eat exactly what I wanted and watch any TV or movie that I wanted and drink whiskey and any mess that was in my house would be mine and I would know exactly why it was there and when it would be cleaned up. It was lovely. Now, I think I can talk about loving being alone because it was my choice/preferance. I have an amazing family I can see anytime I want, I have wonderful friends to hang out with, and honestly getting a date was never really that hard (finding a great man to date, now that's a challenge!).

8. Craft more: Ugh, nope. I want to be craft so badly but every craft just seems like an unreasonable waste of money. I think I'm spreading myself a little too thin, I follow all of these DIY blogs and I'm trying to do too much too soon. I'll pick a few craft projects for next year and see how those go before I start to invest a lot of money.

Mid Year Resolutions

I like lists. Especially to-do lists. Like, a lot. There's just something so satisfying with creating a list of things I need/want to do and then crossing them off. It's very satisfying. A few months ago I made New Years Resolutions (like a million [billion??] other people). A few months later I held myself accountable for them. Now that we're officially half way through the year I want to check in again to measure my progress and also add a few more to the list.

So, here are the resolutions that I had:

Resolutions
1. Join a library/read more   I joined a library in January or February and I've been pretty good about regularly going and checking out books. But honestly, you can never read too much.  So maybe I can modify this resolution with a new one: Read at least 2 new books a month. 

2. Lose weight: FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. So, you know what, I still suck at this one. I have hit a plateau of all plateaus :( BUT! I've recently fired myself up about changing that :) I stumbled upon a Tumblr account that really fired me up. Check out Before and Afters  for some great healthy motivation. This week I've hit the gym every day, I've cut out drinking (I know!!!) and I'm trying to watch what I eat. So maybe a few new goals?? Hit 135 lbs by the end of the year and be able to bench press 70 lbs (twice what I can do now).

3. Run more/run 10k in less than an hour: This week I've been really good about running but I haven't worked up to a 10k yet. So new goal: Run a 10k in under an hour by the end of the year. 

4. Pay off debt: As you may remember I paid off one of my college loans at the beginning of this month. But of course, nothing good can stay for long and I've been hit with new bull shit at every possible moment. I want so badly to save money and every time I come close I keep getting the rug pulled out from under me. Trying to save money, oh PS you need major dental work. Oh, you finally got all your dental work done and you almost paid it off? PS your car battery is dead. Ok, so you spent the last little bit of money you had for a car battery and you're ALMOST to pay day? Fuck you, you have a slow leak in one of your tires. YEP. I had to spend $20 bucks on a tire pump.  Now I get to fill my tire until pay day so I can hopefully get it patched because Lord knows I don't have enough for a new tire. I'm just so tired of it all. I don't mean to get all depressing but I could really use a break. My boyfriend and I have been talking about moving in and I'm just getting the worst cold feet ever. I've lived with someone before and it ended so badly and I'm just so scared. This blog is like a memorial to all of the bad decisions I've made in life and what if this is just another one? But I can't live alone because my lovely apartment complex raised the rent from $605 to $667 and I just can't afford that. I'm hoping that this all is just due to a really intense case of PMS and that I'll start to feel better soon. Oh, and one more PS; even though I just got all of that dental work done my back tooth is killing me and I think I might have a cavity.  It never fucking ends.   This blog I follow Thrifty Decor Chick has made a lot of really inspiring posts about paying off $125,000 and I'm just hoping to be able to do something similar. That is, if life can just stop using me a human punching bag. 

5. Second job: Yikes, sorry about that little dip into despair above. The sadness and frustration is strong within me. Even though my schedule sucks I've been able to pick up shifts at my second job when I really needed them and today I start babysitting for my friend. I really hope that it turns into something regular because she's willing to pay me $10 bucks an hour!! It may not be much but every little bit helps. 

6. Date up:  So, I've mentioned before I really care for my boyfriend. He's wayyyyy better then every other dude I've dated. For the most part he's got his life together. But sometimes I hate him ?? Is this normal??? Now, I'm PMSing so bad right now I could cry, retain all the water in the oceans, and punch an old lady so maybe this is just hormones talking. Or maybe this is how all relationships are? Is it normal to go back and forth between wanting to marry someone and wanting to never see them again? I have a really bad case of fear of commitment. REALLY BAD. Relationships scare the bejesus out of me which is probably why I'm so bad in them and they never really last. I'm very good and treating nice guys poorly and pushing them away. I want so badly to stop and I'm trying to hard but I just wonder if my efforts are futile. Honestly, with my behavior I can't imagine anyone wanting to stay in a committed relationship with me. I can be a real jerk :(

7. Take myself on dates. Lol, no. Not really. I can't afford to get my hair cut let alone take myself on "dates" but I'm still crossing it off because I always try to make "me" time. I like "me" time. I think being alone is really fun honestly. I'd rather be at home with a nice drink and a Netflix queue filled with great movies then out at a club. 

8. Craft more:  I've made attempts at crafting more but I'm really not where I want to be at due to having no money. All I can do is hope for more cash/inspiration in the future to craft on a super tight budget. 


Updated 2012 Resolutions
1. Read at least 2 new books a month
2. Weigh 135 lbs (only a 12 lb weight loss)
3. Bench 70 lbs (2x what I can do now)
4. Refinance my piece of shit Wells Fargo loans to a 10 year plan
5. Stop being such a piece of shit jerk 
6. Craft more

Positive Changes

Things are going much, much, much better :) My boyfriend and I had an amazing talk and we're on a good path again, I've come to terms with my current crazy schedule, and I'm making more of an effort to see friends.

I haven't really shared much about my work for a few reasons. This is the internet and frankly, while I put a lot of stuff on this blog, I really don't want anyone knowing who I am. I like my privacy. But I can share what is bringing me down. I work in a 24 hour unit. The schedule that I was hired for is evenings but recently (as in the last 6 months) we've had a major shortage and I've been switching back and forth from evenings to overnights. Overnights aren't that bad really but when you switch back and forth it can be a killer on your mood/psyche. Also, there is no set schedule. Sometimes the schedule is only released a week at a time and there's even been a few times I've only been informed of my shifts the night before they start. It's been rough to deal with and I know that it's caused me to become depressed which has negatively affected my relationships with my friends and boyfriend.

BUT there is hope. While I've been applying for other jobs there are two lead positions open at my work. One is for the graveyard shift. I know no one really wants that one and I think I might go for it. It would mean more money, a set schedule, and it would look amazing on my resume. While it is sort of shitty to use a promotion at your job to get another, different job my work place has been incredibly shitty to me and my sleep pattern. So suck it work.

BUT OMG THERE IS OTHER BETTER NEWS.
Today I (or my mother but whatever, you don't know me) made the last payment on my loan from UT. It's alllllll gone!!! GONE!!! GONE!!! Sorry.

I can't believe it's gone and in only 5 years! I'm so freaking happy :) This plus my raise at work PLUS other things being payed off means that in a few months I can (hopefully) refinance my awful Wells Fargo loan in a few months.

I guess the thing that I've learned in these last few months is that things can always be worse and they can always be better. That's just life. No one has it easy. Take this guy. Student loans ruined this guys life. He doesn't have a home because he wanted to get a job in a field he was passionate about. That's crazy. That's unfair. I have it rough but I have a support system.

I'm hoping that the future gets better. My boyfriend and I are thinking about moving in together which is not only awesome because more time with my boo but I would be saving a bundle. Plus, I really want to be able to do sweet stuff for my man. He does so much for me and he takes care of me and because I'm always broke I feel like I owe him so much. I know he doesn't care but I do. At least if we lived together I would be able to cook and clean and organize to "pull my weight". Those are things that I enjoy and are free :) Honestly, I'm super excited because I'd be able to pay more on my student loan PLUS buy a sewing machine. Yeah, I live the crazy life.

Catching up

Truth.

I have like, zero time to update but it's been a while and I enjoy checking in. Lots of ups and downs this week.

-Car needed new belts or some bull shit -$150 (WTF car, I don't even own any belts and you got THREE new ones??? That's fucked up).

+Got a bump in pay due to a market survey, up $0.52 an hour!!!

-Went to the dentist and I need $650 in dental work because I brush my teeth like I'm cleaning grout from tile.

I guess that's life. You get a little more money but you have more expenses. I only have $75 left to pay off for my car and I'm going to do the dental work in chunks so I can make payments. In other news my boo moved closer to me and his new place is swanky. Wood floors, two levels, tile back splash in the kitchen. I've already planned a million parties to host there, much to his delight, I'm sure.

I'll be back soon, this week I'm all graveyards PLUS multiple shifts at my second job. Luckily, a mix of sugar and delirium keep me steady through my 13+ hour shifts.

Just a quickie...

Who just paid $2000 on their UT loan? This chick. Oh yeah, 2 more months and that sucker is done and then I can set my sites on destroying my Wells Fargo loan.

Picture Update: Valentine's Day

I recently feel in love with Token Fat Girl over at Natural Weight Loss Blog. Seriously, she is my blogger hero. All her updates are gorgeous and every food item she posts looks mouth watering.

Anywhoo! Her wonderful blog inspired me to try to post more and to include more personal life updates and pictures. I know I'm a bit (aka A LOT) late with a Valentine's day post but I'm trying to clear out the photos from my iPhone and this was the first batch. ENJOY!

Chocolate Festival at Central Market; sorry for the blurry snap, I was too busy trying to stuff my basket full of sweets to concentrate on photo art.

This is the chocolate I used for the Guajillo Chili Chocolate Mexicano Cupcakes in this post. The Bacon chocolate didn't last long enough to make it to a recipe.

Homemade whipped cream and strawberries <3. The thing I love I about the "recipe" for homemade whipped cream? Take heavy whipping cream, whip, stuff your face. How easy?

Ridiculous Valentine that I sent my man. If you don't know about the Honey Badger*, you really need to get your shit together.

*I say (type?) that in jest, I just learned about the honey badger like, last month. And I'm pretty good at dicking away time on the internet.

How my man and I celebrated February 13th. Drank too much whiskey, ate pizza, and I got flowers <3 For the actual day of Valentines he cooked me dinner, and took me to a drive in, and we enjoyed that homemade whipped cream, strawberries and chocolate :)

Sorry this post isn't terribly long, I have to go to my second job then I go to my first job. Ugh, it isn't easy balancing my schedule.

New Year's Resolutions: Accountability Time

So if you remember this post I, like many millions (billions?) of people, made some New Years Eve Resolutions. In years past I would usually be gung-ho about changes for most of January and then stop giving an F around the end of February. However, now that I'm trying to document life via a blog I'm really trying to hold my self accountable. Now that we're about 2 months into 2012 I figure it's about time to check in on my progress.

Resolutions
1. Join a library/read more: Done and done!! I joined the public library in January and have been really good about checking out books. The intention was that reading is good for you (at least better than watching hours of tv) however, I have a bad habit of checking out low quality books. I mainly stay in the mystery/crime section of the library. I guess I don't get enough crime drama at work. Honestly, the books I check out border on Pulp: sexy millionaire detective Voort is desperate to solve a serious of sexy murders during a New York heat wave. Spoiler alert: everything is very sexy and gritty. Oh well, I like reading about crime even if it's far stretched and far sexier than any real crime.

2. Lose weight: Check! I feel so much better after making such slight changes. Cutting the fat and skin off my chicken, switching to corn tortillas instead of flour, and portion control. I'm not trying to be model skinny I just want to feel comfortable in my clothes. Plus, when I maintain a healthy and low weight I fit into more of my wardrobe which means I don't have the urge to go out and buy new things.

3. Run more/run 10k in less than an hour: YEP! I joined a running group at work and while my schedule has made it hard to attend I'm doing really great at going to the gym. Just yesterday I went for a 4 mile run around my neighborhood. I really wanted to run the Capital 10k but it's only a month away and I'm not ready for that. However, there are around 1083984903 5Ks a day here in Austin so I want to definitely sign up for one of those. My new, modified goal is to run a 5K in less than 30 minutes (which should be totally doable!).

4. Pay off debt: Not done just yet. I'm getting back a HUGE tax return which I will put towards paying off my first college loan. I graduate from the University of Texas in 2007 and my student loan is almost already paid off (thanks in large part to massive support from my Mom). I should be able to pay off the remaining balance by the end of this year. Then, I'm going to try to refinance my loan with Wells Fargo.

5. Second job: No luck :( I honestly blame my schedule. I was, without ANY fair notice switched to graveyard shifts for a month which has made it impossible to find more work. My hope is that once I'm back to my normal shift (or, once I even GET a normal shift) I can pick up more hours at my old job. They're opening a second location and it's about to be SXSW which means more hours for everyone.

6. Date up: Super done. I mentioned in this post that I had started to see someone new and things are seriously awesome. I want to pinch myself because it's hard to believe that I've met someone so wonderful. We've been seeing each other for more than a month and I'm 99% sure he is my boyfriend but we haven't made it Facebook official (I'm in my 20s, this is how we measure things). He has his life SO together. He has a grown up job and insurance and he takes me out and plans stuff. For Valentine's Day he made me dinner and took me to a drive in to see Breakfast at Tiffany's. I'm honestly crazy about him and I can't believe that I wasted so much time with my ex when this great guy was RIGHT there!

7. Take myself on dates: Not really :( However, this is really not my fault. Work has been super crazy and I started dating my new fella. It's hard to take yourself on dates when an amazing guy keeps taking you on dates (first world problems). Honestly, I'm willing to completely give up on this resolution simply because I'm so happy in life right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to lose myself in relationships but this resolution was about treating myself right and caring about myself and right now it feels like I couldn't be treated any better. I'm happy with life in a way that I haven't been in a long time.

8. Craft more: Fail. Again, I'm going to blame my work schedule. Working graveyard shifts has really messed up my mind and it's hard to think about craftiness when I'm completely out of it. Plus, there hasn't really been any projects that I've been excited about. However, I was thinking about modifying this resolution. I wanted to craft more to make my little living space wonderful. I think another way I could achieve that goal is by evaluating and modifying my possessions and life style. I've always enjoyed living in a clean home but lately I've really focused on organization and key items. I've re-organized spaces and my mind feels so clear. I've also been clearing out the clutter. I have a bad habit of keeping things from a mixture of wanting to save money and anxiety over throwing away something I might potentially need. I've tried to face these fears head on by recognizing that it's okay to get rid of some things. I've donated items to charity and I've allowed myself to throw away items that are no longer useful (i.e. the rusted and dirty chairs I've kept in the trunk of my car for YEARS. I honestly don't know why I did that).

So, two months in and I'm 4 out of 8 for resolutions. Not too shabby. I honestly feel better than I have in years. I've become less focused on possessions and more focused on using what I have. For instance, I have sensitive skin which means I use lots of lotions. This has led to countless bottles of lotion everywhere. So many half used bottles and so many different kids (scented, unscented, travel size, holiday themed, some contain slight sparkle for a tan effect, ayayyaya). I have decided that I cannot buy something new until I'm completely done with what I have. When it comes to lotion this means that I'm using 2 year old Plum Sparkle Christmas lotion. But this is good. I've realized how much of a consumer I was being and how little I valued what I owned. Now I'm appreciating all the things I've had and I'm saving all sorts of money.

I'm back!

Sorry it's been so long since a post, life got in the way a bit. First, I randomly got a full month of graveyard shifts at my job. FUN. Instead of a lovely 2-10pm shift I'm working 10pm-6am. It makes me very discombobulated (or disoriented as a normal person would say). Then, my laptop died. The battery on this thing died a long time ago but I've been perfectly content with just leaving it plugged in all of the time. Unfortunately now that is barely an option. I took it to Geek Squad and they sent it off for repairs. All I need is a new power cord and battery. Now normally, I would have just had them install it but now that I'm all thrifty I'm going to use Amazon and save a bundle. Finally, I started seeing someone new. He's been a friend for a while (he works with one of my best friends) but we went out for drinks two weeks ago and have sort of been inseparable since. He's not normally a type of guy I go for (aka he's an adult male with his shit together) but things have been awesome. Life is great right now :)

I have some great financial stuff in the works and I'm actively looking for ways to move my loan from Wells Fargo so please stand by for an awesome post soon. Until then please be satisfied with this picture of a cat: