Day 5 and Day 6: Shit is getting hard

Image Source

After 4 relatively easy days I've finally started to hit some obstacles. Yesterday at work multiple people brought in donuts. They smelled heavenly, thick globs of fried dough saturated with ooey gooey sticky sugar glaze. Our kitchen isn't sectioned off at work, it stretches along the hallway leading our cubes and offices to support staff so I had to constantly walk past the tempting treats.

While I was very proud to have kept to my resolution I apparently wasn't done being tempted yet. Last night my dreams consisted off large buffet style dessert tables weighed down with every treat imaginable. I can't remember if I indulged in my dream but at some point the dream me did remember my resolution and I was so bummed out.

I really have to up my motivation and will power so here's a study posted on Mind Body Green about the negative effects of sugar: Sugar Can Make You Dumb.

"Eating too much sugar can eat away at your brainpower, according to US scientists who published a study Tuesday showing how a steady diet of high-fructose corn syrup sapped lab rats' memories.
Researchers at the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) fed two groups of rats a solution containing high-fructose corn syrup -- a common ingredient in processed foods -- as drinking water for six weeks.
One group of rats was supplemented with brain-boosting omega-3 fatty acids in the form of flaxseed oil and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA), while the other group was not.
Before the sugar drinks began, the rats were enrolled in a five-day training session in a complicated maze. After six weeks on the sweet solution, the rats were then placed back in the maze to see how they fared.
"The DHA-deprived animals were slower, and their brains showed a decline in synaptic activity," said Fernando Gomez-Pinilla, a professor of neurosurgery at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA.
"Their brain cells had trouble signaling each other, disrupting the rats' ability to think clearly and recall the route they'd learned six weeks earlier."
....In other words, eating too much fructose could interfere with insulin's ability to regulate how cells use and store sugar, which is necessary for processing thoughts and emotions.
"Insulin is important in the body for controlling blood sugar, but it may play a different role in the brain, where insulin appears to disturb memory and learning," Gomez-Pinilla said.
"Our study shows that a high-fructose diet harms the brain as well as the body. This is something new. Our findings illustrate that what you eat affects how you think," said Gomez-Pinilla.
"Eating a high-fructose diet over the long term alters your brain's ability to learn and remember information. But adding omega-3 fatty acids to your meals can help minimize the damage."

Also!!! 14 Mind Blowing Facts About Sugar

Infographic from Total Health as posted by Mind Body Green

I am probably going to troll Mind Body Green all day for wellness tips and motivation, it's a beautifully designed website with tons of great articles and information and I'm glad I found it to help keep me on track towards my health goals. Anyone else have any inspiring health websites???

Day 1

So the first day of my January resolutions went pretty well. It's pretty cold outside so I was forced to run on a treadmill at the gym (which I hate because it is just so incredibly easy to quit). I ran/walked on an incline for a couple of miles and made sure to work in some great weight routines as well as my 50 squats. I bought a pair of goal jeans from H&M afterwards. There slightly too small (i.e. they zip up and there's slight muffin top issues) and I'm hoping that by the end of the month they'll fit perfectly. I'm really excited about the changes in my body from the work I put in last year. Because I'm a pear shape jean shopping is usually incredible depressing (seriously, I'm petite EVERYWHERE and then I just have these giant wide set hips). But I managed to grab (on the first try!) two great pairs and they fit perfectly.

Going dessert free went okay too although the thing I'm worried the most about now is muscle memory. Like, my mind is commited to trying to detox from sugary sweets but I'm so used to being in the kitchen and grabbing something sweet. I'm afraid I'll be halfway through a cookie or whatever before my mind can even comprehend what I'm doing. The only sweets we have left our ones that were sent from my boyfriends parents and I just can't bare to through them away. I'm not a wasteful person and I'd hate for all those delicious goodies to go in the trash.

2013 Resolutions

I love resolutions. I get so excited for a fresh start and motivation for new and exciting changes. I have so many goals for next year and I can't wait to get started on them.

Health Goals

1. Run Capital 10K in one hour or less: I've only ran the Cap10k once but I really, really, REALLY want to do it in under 1 hour. It's entirely possible for me to run a 10 minute but I tend to go slow and steady when I run long distances. 

2. Complete a fun run 5k or 10 (foam run, mud run, gorilla run, jail break,zombie run, etc): There are so many fun runs and I've always wanted to do one but I've just never made it a priority. I've wanted to do the warrior run for years and each time it passes I'm always so bummed out. This year I want to complete more fun runs and races for good causes. 

3. Weight train more: I've always been great at cardio but struggled with lifting. I don't want to bulk up but lifting weights is so important in sculpting a healthy body. I want to incorporate new moves and exercises into my normal daily routine.

January Health Goals

1. No desserts: I am so scared of this goal. I have the biggest sweet tooth ever and things get a bit crazy during the holidays. I seriously need to detox from sweets. The more sugar you eat the more you crave it. I need a clean start. I definitely don't want sweets out of my life forever but I want to really push myself this first month to not really so heavily on sugar.

2. 50 squats a day: I just want a really amazing butt. Ain't no thang.

Life Goals

1. Save at least $1000 a month for student loans and make a $10,000 chunk payment: I already $2500 saved and I'm hoping that in 6 months I can make a payment and then start saving again for another payment. If I can work hard and make huge payments the next couple of years than by the time I'm 30 I can start saving for a house and maybe think about kids. 

Errand Goals: 

Okay, the next goals are mearly errand but they suck and makine them a resolution makes it more exciting to do. It's important to throw yourself some low balls so you can stay motivated for all the really hard goals.

1. Get a new drivers license with an update address

2. Go to the gyno and try to find a birth control I like

3. Go to the eye doctor/look into lasik

4. Sign up for the Capital 10k: I've technically already done this but it's still on the list because I LOVE crossing items off my to-do list/resolutions.

Craft Goals

1. Redecorate my bedroom: Already on my way to this. We picked up new bedding and curtains and I just need a few pieces of furniture to really complete our room.

2. Write a short story or book: I love writing and I really want to do it more. My writing used to be so good (I've been published and won awards) but lately it's a struggle for me to express myself clearly. I'm so excited to try new stories and see where my imagination can take me. 

3. Reupholster my ugly painted chair: Oh God it's so ugly and it's been this way for so long and my boyfriend just gives me that sad look whenever I say I'm going to fix it. I MUST do this.

4. Learn more hairstyles than the same bull shit I constantly wear: I suck at hair and makeup. I'm just not that  good at it and I want to be better and learn stylish and grownup hairstyles. 

5. Cook new recipes: I want to try new and more advance cooking techniques. I want to push myself to try new things and grow in the kitchen (but not in the waist line, haha).

Checking in on 2012 Resolutions

Considering it's a few days until I start to compile my new list of resolutions I thought it was be nice to see how I did on this years resolutions. Let's take a look at the list:

2012 Resolutions:
Resolutions
1. Join a library/read more: This was perhaps the easiest "resolution" to accomplish. Honestly it was more like a To-Do list item than a life change resolution but it was was easier to hold myself accountable for that then some vague "live life to the fullest" bullshit. I have definitely discovered some amazing (and not so amazing) books and authors out there. I think I might to a best of 2012 list or something just so I can have a whole post dedicated to nerding out on amazing literature.

2. Lose weight: Sort of? I've definitely hit a plateau weight wise (stuck at 141-143) but my body looks much better. I started mixing in more weight training to my usually cardio and my legs look amazing! Being a pear shaped person I never thought I could have a thigh gap and now at certain stances I do and it's wonderful. I have a lot of fitness goals for next year that I'm really excited about incorporating into my life.

3. Run more/run 10k in less than an hour: Yes and no. In the last month the weather has been absolutely divine and running has been a breeze (winters in Texas=mid 70s to 80s and sunny). I've worked myself up to around 4 or 5 miles which is just shy of a 10k but I have big plans to sign up for the Capital 10k next year and I'm very excited!

4. Pay off debt: So getting there. I got a new job that pays SO much more than my old job (as in, $10,000 more a year more) and I have a totally doable plan to save at least $1000 a month and make large chunk payments each year. No matter what my $89,000 debt is going to take YEARS to pay off but if I can scrimp and save now and pay off some of that God awful interest then each of my monthly payments will go towards more than they currently do. Sometime soon I'll make an update post about my finances.

5. Second job: Yes and no! I spent a good portion of the beginning of the year desperately trying to get a second job but no one wanted to work around my insane work schedule (understandably). But life has a way of helping you out sometime and I was able to start babysitting a friends kid as well as picking up shifts at my old job. Even though sometimes I'm absolutely exhausted (working 6am to 10m is a killer) I am so thankful that I have people in my life who think of me when it comes to doling out work hours and extra cash. 

6. Date up: Destroyed this one. Absolutely crushed it. Last year at Christmas time I had just recently broken up with a dude (who was mostly nice but made extremely questionable life choices) and this year I'm in a beautiful house with a man that I love more than anything. Funny the places where life can take you, huh? My honey and I had been friends for a few months and went on a date in January and I haven't looked back since. We moved in together a few months ago and while there have been some growing pains (I'm a clean freak, he is not) it's lovely to share a home with someone again. He is so patient and loving and understand and I am so thankful for his presence in my life.

7. Take myself on dates: I don't know why I made this a resolution. One of the strangest things about me is that I love being alone. When friends of mine talk about how terrible it is to spend the holidays single or how strong I was for being single for so long I just never get it. Being single and/or alone can be pretty rocking. I would work whenever I wanted to and for as many hours as I wanted to then I would come home and eat exactly what I wanted and watch any TV or movie that I wanted and drink whiskey and any mess that was in my house would be mine and I would know exactly why it was there and when it would be cleaned up. It was lovely. Now, I think I can talk about loving being alone because it was my choice/preferance. I have an amazing family I can see anytime I want, I have wonderful friends to hang out with, and honestly getting a date was never really that hard (finding a great man to date, now that's a challenge!).

8. Craft more: Ugh, nope. I want to be craft so badly but every craft just seems like an unreasonable waste of money. I think I'm spreading myself a little too thin, I follow all of these DIY blogs and I'm trying to do too much too soon. I'll pick a few craft projects for next year and see how those go before I start to invest a lot of money.

Mid Year Resolutions

I like lists. Especially to-do lists. Like, a lot. There's just something so satisfying with creating a list of things I need/want to do and then crossing them off. It's very satisfying. A few months ago I made New Years Resolutions (like a million [billion??] other people). A few months later I held myself accountable for them. Now that we're officially half way through the year I want to check in again to measure my progress and also add a few more to the list.

So, here are the resolutions that I had:

Resolutions
1. Join a library/read more   I joined a library in January or February and I've been pretty good about regularly going and checking out books. But honestly, you can never read too much.  So maybe I can modify this resolution with a new one: Read at least 2 new books a month. 

2. Lose weight: FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. So, you know what, I still suck at this one. I have hit a plateau of all plateaus :( BUT! I've recently fired myself up about changing that :) I stumbled upon a Tumblr account that really fired me up. Check out Before and Afters  for some great healthy motivation. This week I've hit the gym every day, I've cut out drinking (I know!!!) and I'm trying to watch what I eat. So maybe a few new goals?? Hit 135 lbs by the end of the year and be able to bench press 70 lbs (twice what I can do now).

3. Run more/run 10k in less than an hour: This week I've been really good about running but I haven't worked up to a 10k yet. So new goal: Run a 10k in under an hour by the end of the year. 

4. Pay off debt: As you may remember I paid off one of my college loans at the beginning of this month. But of course, nothing good can stay for long and I've been hit with new bull shit at every possible moment. I want so badly to save money and every time I come close I keep getting the rug pulled out from under me. Trying to save money, oh PS you need major dental work. Oh, you finally got all your dental work done and you almost paid it off? PS your car battery is dead. Ok, so you spent the last little bit of money you had for a car battery and you're ALMOST to pay day? Fuck you, you have a slow leak in one of your tires. YEP. I had to spend $20 bucks on a tire pump.  Now I get to fill my tire until pay day so I can hopefully get it patched because Lord knows I don't have enough for a new tire. I'm just so tired of it all. I don't mean to get all depressing but I could really use a break. My boyfriend and I have been talking about moving in and I'm just getting the worst cold feet ever. I've lived with someone before and it ended so badly and I'm just so scared. This blog is like a memorial to all of the bad decisions I've made in life and what if this is just another one? But I can't live alone because my lovely apartment complex raised the rent from $605 to $667 and I just can't afford that. I'm hoping that this all is just due to a really intense case of PMS and that I'll start to feel better soon. Oh, and one more PS; even though I just got all of that dental work done my back tooth is killing me and I think I might have a cavity.  It never fucking ends.   This blog I follow Thrifty Decor Chick has made a lot of really inspiring posts about paying off $125,000 and I'm just hoping to be able to do something similar. That is, if life can just stop using me a human punching bag. 

5. Second job: Yikes, sorry about that little dip into despair above. The sadness and frustration is strong within me. Even though my schedule sucks I've been able to pick up shifts at my second job when I really needed them and today I start babysitting for my friend. I really hope that it turns into something regular because she's willing to pay me $10 bucks an hour!! It may not be much but every little bit helps. 

6. Date up:  So, I've mentioned before I really care for my boyfriend. He's wayyyyy better then every other dude I've dated. For the most part he's got his life together. But sometimes I hate him ?? Is this normal??? Now, I'm PMSing so bad right now I could cry, retain all the water in the oceans, and punch an old lady so maybe this is just hormones talking. Or maybe this is how all relationships are? Is it normal to go back and forth between wanting to marry someone and wanting to never see them again? I have a really bad case of fear of commitment. REALLY BAD. Relationships scare the bejesus out of me which is probably why I'm so bad in them and they never really last. I'm very good and treating nice guys poorly and pushing them away. I want so badly to stop and I'm trying to hard but I just wonder if my efforts are futile. Honestly, with my behavior I can't imagine anyone wanting to stay in a committed relationship with me. I can be a real jerk :(

7. Take myself on dates. Lol, no. Not really. I can't afford to get my hair cut let alone take myself on "dates" but I'm still crossing it off because I always try to make "me" time. I like "me" time. I think being alone is really fun honestly. I'd rather be at home with a nice drink and a Netflix queue filled with great movies then out at a club. 

8. Craft more:  I've made attempts at crafting more but I'm really not where I want to be at due to having no money. All I can do is hope for more cash/inspiration in the future to craft on a super tight budget. 


Updated 2012 Resolutions
1. Read at least 2 new books a month
2. Weigh 135 lbs (only a 12 lb weight loss)
3. Bench 70 lbs (2x what I can do now)
4. Refinance my piece of shit Wells Fargo loans to a 10 year plan
5. Stop being such a piece of shit jerk 
6. Craft more

New Year's Resolutions: Accountability Time

So if you remember this post I, like many millions (billions?) of people, made some New Years Eve Resolutions. In years past I would usually be gung-ho about changes for most of January and then stop giving an F around the end of February. However, now that I'm trying to document life via a blog I'm really trying to hold my self accountable. Now that we're about 2 months into 2012 I figure it's about time to check in on my progress.

Resolutions
1. Join a library/read more: Done and done!! I joined the public library in January and have been really good about checking out books. The intention was that reading is good for you (at least better than watching hours of tv) however, I have a bad habit of checking out low quality books. I mainly stay in the mystery/crime section of the library. I guess I don't get enough crime drama at work. Honestly, the books I check out border on Pulp: sexy millionaire detective Voort is desperate to solve a serious of sexy murders during a New York heat wave. Spoiler alert: everything is very sexy and gritty. Oh well, I like reading about crime even if it's far stretched and far sexier than any real crime.

2. Lose weight: Check! I feel so much better after making such slight changes. Cutting the fat and skin off my chicken, switching to corn tortillas instead of flour, and portion control. I'm not trying to be model skinny I just want to feel comfortable in my clothes. Plus, when I maintain a healthy and low weight I fit into more of my wardrobe which means I don't have the urge to go out and buy new things.

3. Run more/run 10k in less than an hour: YEP! I joined a running group at work and while my schedule has made it hard to attend I'm doing really great at going to the gym. Just yesterday I went for a 4 mile run around my neighborhood. I really wanted to run the Capital 10k but it's only a month away and I'm not ready for that. However, there are around 1083984903 5Ks a day here in Austin so I want to definitely sign up for one of those. My new, modified goal is to run a 5K in less than 30 minutes (which should be totally doable!).

4. Pay off debt: Not done just yet. I'm getting back a HUGE tax return which I will put towards paying off my first college loan. I graduate from the University of Texas in 2007 and my student loan is almost already paid off (thanks in large part to massive support from my Mom). I should be able to pay off the remaining balance by the end of this year. Then, I'm going to try to refinance my loan with Wells Fargo.

5. Second job: No luck :( I honestly blame my schedule. I was, without ANY fair notice switched to graveyard shifts for a month which has made it impossible to find more work. My hope is that once I'm back to my normal shift (or, once I even GET a normal shift) I can pick up more hours at my old job. They're opening a second location and it's about to be SXSW which means more hours for everyone.

6. Date up: Super done. I mentioned in this post that I had started to see someone new and things are seriously awesome. I want to pinch myself because it's hard to believe that I've met someone so wonderful. We've been seeing each other for more than a month and I'm 99% sure he is my boyfriend but we haven't made it Facebook official (I'm in my 20s, this is how we measure things). He has his life SO together. He has a grown up job and insurance and he takes me out and plans stuff. For Valentine's Day he made me dinner and took me to a drive in to see Breakfast at Tiffany's. I'm honestly crazy about him and I can't believe that I wasted so much time with my ex when this great guy was RIGHT there!

7. Take myself on dates: Not really :( However, this is really not my fault. Work has been super crazy and I started dating my new fella. It's hard to take yourself on dates when an amazing guy keeps taking you on dates (first world problems). Honestly, I'm willing to completely give up on this resolution simply because I'm so happy in life right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to lose myself in relationships but this resolution was about treating myself right and caring about myself and right now it feels like I couldn't be treated any better. I'm happy with life in a way that I haven't been in a long time.

8. Craft more: Fail. Again, I'm going to blame my work schedule. Working graveyard shifts has really messed up my mind and it's hard to think about craftiness when I'm completely out of it. Plus, there hasn't really been any projects that I've been excited about. However, I was thinking about modifying this resolution. I wanted to craft more to make my little living space wonderful. I think another way I could achieve that goal is by evaluating and modifying my possessions and life style. I've always enjoyed living in a clean home but lately I've really focused on organization and key items. I've re-organized spaces and my mind feels so clear. I've also been clearing out the clutter. I have a bad habit of keeping things from a mixture of wanting to save money and anxiety over throwing away something I might potentially need. I've tried to face these fears head on by recognizing that it's okay to get rid of some things. I've donated items to charity and I've allowed myself to throw away items that are no longer useful (i.e. the rusted and dirty chairs I've kept in the trunk of my car for YEARS. I honestly don't know why I did that).

So, two months in and I'm 4 out of 8 for resolutions. Not too shabby. I honestly feel better than I have in years. I've become less focused on possessions and more focused on using what I have. For instance, I have sensitive skin which means I use lots of lotions. This has led to countless bottles of lotion everywhere. So many half used bottles and so many different kids (scented, unscented, travel size, holiday themed, some contain slight sparkle for a tan effect, ayayyaya). I have decided that I cannot buy something new until I'm completely done with what I have. When it comes to lotion this means that I'm using 2 year old Plum Sparkle Christmas lotion. But this is good. I've realized how much of a consumer I was being and how little I valued what I owned. Now I'm appreciating all the things I've had and I'm saving all sorts of money.