Saving money/getting out of debt isn't solely about being frugal and never having fun (although it can feel that way....a lot). For me, saving money is about eliminating unnecessary spending so I can save towards doing something I really, really, REALLY want to do. I want to make a list where I can keep track of things I want to motivate myself. Skipping a fancy $5 coffee is easy when you think of all the fun stuff that 5 bucks can go towards.
Things I am Willing to Spend Money On
1. Laser hair removal for my lower legs: I found a deal for $500!!
2. New iPhone: around $300
3. Fix my computer: DC jack repair is usually $100
4. Getting my passport: Total cost for fees and paperwork about $165
5. Laser eye surgery: my insurance should pay for some of it and I've seen deals for as cheap as $600 per eye
Bucket List
1. Travel to Canada: Boyfriend has found flights for as cheap as $350. First I have to get my passport (see #4 above)
2. Travel to Europe
3. Travel to East Coast w/ my boyfriend: we're in the middle of planning this trip, I want to save around $1000 to cover all the museums and restaurants I want to visit.
4. Pay off my college debt
5. Own a home
6. Have/adopt/foster a couple of kids
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Revisiting my thankful place...
First let's start this post with the required, "I'm terrible at updating this thing...blah blah blah...I swear to post more...blah blah blah".
The past few weeks I hit a bit of a rough spot. Just felt really bummed about my place in life. I'm 27 and I'm no where near these big life events that I think I should be. Luckily, I'm feeling so much better and happier and I realized that it's been far too long since I posted things that I'm thankful for. I spend so much time on this blog complaining about my debt and my bills and I should focus more on the riches I do have.
What I'm Thankful For:
1. Paying off my debt: in the past three months I have paid off THREE times as much of my principle debt than I have in the past year. The first year that I was paying off my college loan I only knocked off about $1200 in principle now I'm knocking off around that much each month. It's been incredible hard to see so much of my check go each month to bills but I know at the end of this year I'll be so much happier and that much closer to ultimately paying my debt off.
2. My friends and family: I have such supportive and amazing family. That really all there is to it. In this wild and crazy world I have so many people that I love that love me back and that's really very special.
3. My boyfriend: Yeah, he gets a number all his own. I seriously love this guy. I never thought I would live with someone again and now I can't imagine living without him. When he's not home I get so sad and when we're together it's the best part of my day. Our work schedules are completed jacked and we sometimes go days with only seeing each other briefly at night but last night we actually went to bed at the same time and it was so nice. Just to lay with him and laugh and fall asleep together.
4. My job: I really do love my job and even on days where it's hard I'm still so luckily to do what I love. I was able to go from a job with low pay and terrible treatment to a job with amazing pay, great hours, and awesome co-workers. I'm really blessed.
There's a million more daily things I'm thankful for: great weather, good running trails, Dr Who on instant Netflix, insane genes that allow me to eat my weight in sugar and not get diabetes, sunshine, laughter, and so much more. Even though it's taking me a few months to save the extra cash I'm finally going to be able to buy a sewing machine and I'm so excited to start sewing again. I want to try my hand at DIY clothes/up cycling and quilting. I'm hoping to be able to post more about cheap DIY projects.
The past few weeks I hit a bit of a rough spot. Just felt really bummed about my place in life. I'm 27 and I'm no where near these big life events that I think I should be. Luckily, I'm feeling so much better and happier and I realized that it's been far too long since I posted things that I'm thankful for. I spend so much time on this blog complaining about my debt and my bills and I should focus more on the riches I do have.
What I'm Thankful For:
1. Paying off my debt: in the past three months I have paid off THREE times as much of my principle debt than I have in the past year. The first year that I was paying off my college loan I only knocked off about $1200 in principle now I'm knocking off around that much each month. It's been incredible hard to see so much of my check go each month to bills but I know at the end of this year I'll be so much happier and that much closer to ultimately paying my debt off.
2. My friends and family: I have such supportive and amazing family. That really all there is to it. In this wild and crazy world I have so many people that I love that love me back and that's really very special.
3. My boyfriend: Yeah, he gets a number all his own. I seriously love this guy. I never thought I would live with someone again and now I can't imagine living without him. When he's not home I get so sad and when we're together it's the best part of my day. Our work schedules are completed jacked and we sometimes go days with only seeing each other briefly at night but last night we actually went to bed at the same time and it was so nice. Just to lay with him and laugh and fall asleep together.
4. My job: I really do love my job and even on days where it's hard I'm still so luckily to do what I love. I was able to go from a job with low pay and terrible treatment to a job with amazing pay, great hours, and awesome co-workers. I'm really blessed.
There's a million more daily things I'm thankful for: great weather, good running trails, Dr Who on instant Netflix, insane genes that allow me to eat my weight in sugar and not get diabetes, sunshine, laughter, and so much more. Even though it's taking me a few months to save the extra cash I'm finally going to be able to buy a sewing machine and I'm so excited to start sewing again. I want to try my hand at DIY clothes/up cycling and quilting. I'm hoping to be able to post more about cheap DIY projects.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Staying Afloat
I have just really sucked at blogging lately. Sorry about that. I guess it's because I just haven't really had much to post. I wanted this blog to be about saving money and DIY-ing shit and I've been TERRIBLE at both of those things. I'm so broke I can't even DIY :(
Things got a little better in the last week or so. I went for my final dentist appointment and got my teeth all squeaky clean. Most of that went on my credit card but there was really nothing I could do about that. I had to make sure I had enough for my loan payment so everything else had to be charged. My credit card got up to around $600 bucks but I managed to pay it down to $250. So things are going great, I make it to pay day, put money in my savings and blah blah blah everything appears fine. So, of course it's not. Out of the blue after work one day I go out to my car to drive home and it's dead. Ain't that something? There is really no better way to describe my life then thinking that everything is going to be okay and finding my car dead.
And I don't mean that in a bad way (if that makes any sense). At this point it's just sort of darkly funny. I just remember sitting in my car and desperately turning my key over and over and finally just sitting back and looking up and thinking, "okay, what now".
The little bit of cushion money that I had saved to help me make it to my next pay day went directly to my new car battery (which they only had 1 in stock and it was the most expensive one...of course). Now I sit in waiting for this Friday when I get paid from my second job. Until then I'm hanging on with $21 bucks in my account. But life is still good. I went grocery shopping before my battery crapped out so I have food and my amazing boyfriend bought me gas (and some clothes!!! Seriously, this guy is beyond perfect/wonderful/amazing).
But even in all of this mess I'm still so happy. While it may not be permanent I've been getting more regular shifts at my job and my boyfriend and I have decided to move in with each other in a few months. I'm also going to start babysitting for a friend weekly which not only means extra cash but time spent with my friend and her awesome son. Nothing's okay and everything's okay (if that makes any sense). I'm broker than I have ever been in my life and yet I'm happier. Being forced to distance my self from my consumerist ways has made me so much happier than I thought was possible. Before all of this loan non-sense I just bought, bought, bought without any sense of what I truly needed. Now I'm happy when I can afford more than the basics. I'm broke but I'm lucky which is more than I deserve :)
I swear I have plans to get this blog back to what I wanted it to be. When my credit card is paid off and my boyfriend and I shack up together I will buy a sewing machine and start more DIY. Until then I have my fingers crossed that all of my bills get paid :)
cl
Things got a little better in the last week or so. I went for my final dentist appointment and got my teeth all squeaky clean. Most of that went on my credit card but there was really nothing I could do about that. I had to make sure I had enough for my loan payment so everything else had to be charged. My credit card got up to around $600 bucks but I managed to pay it down to $250. So things are going great, I make it to pay day, put money in my savings and blah blah blah everything appears fine. So, of course it's not. Out of the blue after work one day I go out to my car to drive home and it's dead. Ain't that something? There is really no better way to describe my life then thinking that everything is going to be okay and finding my car dead.
And I don't mean that in a bad way (if that makes any sense). At this point it's just sort of darkly funny. I just remember sitting in my car and desperately turning my key over and over and finally just sitting back and looking up and thinking, "okay, what now".
The little bit of cushion money that I had saved to help me make it to my next pay day went directly to my new car battery (which they only had 1 in stock and it was the most expensive one...of course). Now I sit in waiting for this Friday when I get paid from my second job. Until then I'm hanging on with $21 bucks in my account. But life is still good. I went grocery shopping before my battery crapped out so I have food and my amazing boyfriend bought me gas (and some clothes!!! Seriously, this guy is beyond perfect/wonderful/amazing).
But even in all of this mess I'm still so happy. While it may not be permanent I've been getting more regular shifts at my job and my boyfriend and I have decided to move in with each other in a few months. I'm also going to start babysitting for a friend weekly which not only means extra cash but time spent with my friend and her awesome son. Nothing's okay and everything's okay (if that makes any sense). I'm broker than I have ever been in my life and yet I'm happier. Being forced to distance my self from my consumerist ways has made me so much happier than I thought was possible. Before all of this loan non-sense I just bought, bought, bought without any sense of what I truly needed. Now I'm happy when I can afford more than the basics. I'm broke but I'm lucky which is more than I deserve :)
I swear I have plans to get this blog back to what I wanted it to be. When my credit card is paid off and my boyfriend and I shack up together I will buy a sewing machine and start more DIY. Until then I have my fingers crossed that all of my bills get paid :)
cl
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Despair?
I'm not sure what is going on with me but I've been really bummed out lately. More than bummed out. I'm not sure I would call it depression because I've never really experienced anything like this. I've been trying all week to put it into words and I've been struggling to pin point what has gotten me to this place. I guess it's a few things so I'm hoping by putting it down in writing I can get a firm grasp of this situation and change it.
First of all things with my boyfriend are kind of blah. I'm not sure when it happened and I can't really figure out if one of us is to "blame" but something has changed (or maybe nothing has changed and this depression is making me think that something has changed). When we first got together he was such a positive force in my life and I was so proud and happy. Now it feels that he's gotten super comfortable and doesn't even try anymore. We've been dating less than 4 months. Granted, I've only been in two long term relationships before but this seems a bit early to get comfortable. Again, I can't describe the feeling but I feel distance between us. I don't feel happy anymore.
THEN, there's my overwhelming debt. I feel trapped and burden by this enormous thing that I can't control or fix. I feel so sad that this is my life. There's been a lot of recent studies about how negatively social networking is affecting how people feel and I completely understand. When I log on to Facebook and I see people I knew in high school and they're married, having babies, and living in houses I feel so ashamed and sad that I'm not at that point (I honestly don't care about marriage and babies but I want a house more than anything). This wasn't supposed to be my life. I had potential. Now, I'm 26 and living alone in single bedroom apartment and I can't afford to get my hair cut. Most of my friends had family that paid for their college so no one really understands what I'm going through. I have no extra money, I'm worried all of the time and I feel so beyond pathetic. And honestly I don't see that changing.
I read some article today about a man who managed to pay off his $90,000 college debt in 7 months. I was so excited thinking that there was something I could do to get rid of this debt only to find out the guy paid off his debt with his six figure salary and sneaking flasks into bars. AWESOME. I can sneak flasks into bars till the fucking cows come home and it won't change the fact that this guy did what he did because he makes 3 times my gross annual salary.
I really hit bottom yesterday when I received a notice from my insurance saying they're not going to cover most of my dental work and the portion that I need to cover is $1200. I bawled my eyes out. It's such a stupid thing to cry over but I think it was just my breaking point. After a good 12 hour cry and How I Met Your Mother marathon I started to feel better (plus, talking with a co-worker who gave great insurance appeal advice). After taking some time to really examine my life and my heart I've come to a few conclusions:
I cannot count on my boyfriend (or anyone, for that matter) to help me
I don't mean this in a depressing, "everyone dies alone" super dramatic way. I just have to release and recognize that the only person who can change my life is me. I can't waste my time hoping for some magical solution to bring itself to me and fix all of my problems. If I'm not happy being this broke or living this way I'm the one responsible for fixing it.
My worth isn't what I own or where I live
Facebook and Pinterest are dangerous, evil places. That article I mentioned above talked about when it comes to social networking people create their own "brand" (like companies marketing a product). No one goes on to Facebook to advertise what a fuck up they are or how they gained weight or lost a job or whatever. People go on to Facebook to post vacation photos and celebrity encounters. People only share the good times, not the bad and that's not reality. I have to spend less time on social media for my own mental health and happiness and I have to remind myself that most people are only "advertising" the good times, not the bad and for the most part everyone struggles with some aspect of life.
I need to maintain perspective
I've mentioned before that when sad times hit I usually give myself a day to deal with how sad/depressed I feel. I throw a mean pity party. There's drinking, excessive crying, blaming God, and lots of couch time. It's great but it's not a party I want to go to often. So, while I think it's healthy to work through emotions I don't want to dwell on them. This is where perspective comes in. If, after my one day pity party extravaganza, I keep dwelling I must remind myself how lucky I truly am. In the past week one of the stories catching the attention of the nation is about a beautiful, young woman who cut herself while zip-lining and got infected with a flesh eating bacteria. While doctors think she may live they have had to amputate one entire leg, her remaining foot, and at least one of her hands (not to mention soft tissue on her abdomen). Whenever my mind tries to drift back to that "woe is me" place I imagine sitting down with this 24 year old woman and trying to explain to her how hard my life is. The ridiculousness of it snaps me right back to normal thought. Yes, I have debt. Yes, I have HUGE debt but I didn't get most of my body cut off. Heck, worse stuff happens to people everyday than debt.
I can't wait on fate
I keep waiting for someone or something to change my life. While I do believe we all have a destiny I think sometimes I use "fate" as a crutch so I don't have to make decisions. My anxiety stems from the overwhelming fear that I'm making the wrong decision. I've messed up in the past and now I feel terrified that I'll once again fuck something up. But I can't live that way. I have to take control of my own life even if it's scary.
I'm honestly not sure what I'm going to do. I have a few ideas but they're big and scary life changing ones. I just know that I'm not happy right now and I want to change that . I want to be free of this debt, I want to one day own a house, I want to be happy.
First of all things with my boyfriend are kind of blah. I'm not sure when it happened and I can't really figure out if one of us is to "blame" but something has changed (or maybe nothing has changed and this depression is making me think that something has changed). When we first got together he was such a positive force in my life and I was so proud and happy. Now it feels that he's gotten super comfortable and doesn't even try anymore. We've been dating less than 4 months. Granted, I've only been in two long term relationships before but this seems a bit early to get comfortable. Again, I can't describe the feeling but I feel distance between us. I don't feel happy anymore.
THEN, there's my overwhelming debt. I feel trapped and burden by this enormous thing that I can't control or fix. I feel so sad that this is my life. There's been a lot of recent studies about how negatively social networking is affecting how people feel and I completely understand. When I log on to Facebook and I see people I knew in high school and they're married, having babies, and living in houses I feel so ashamed and sad that I'm not at that point (I honestly don't care about marriage and babies but I want a house more than anything). This wasn't supposed to be my life. I had potential. Now, I'm 26 and living alone in single bedroom apartment and I can't afford to get my hair cut. Most of my friends had family that paid for their college so no one really understands what I'm going through. I have no extra money, I'm worried all of the time and I feel so beyond pathetic. And honestly I don't see that changing.
I read some article today about a man who managed to pay off his $90,000 college debt in 7 months. I was so excited thinking that there was something I could do to get rid of this debt only to find out the guy paid off his debt with his six figure salary and sneaking flasks into bars. AWESOME. I can sneak flasks into bars till the fucking cows come home and it won't change the fact that this guy did what he did because he makes 3 times my gross annual salary.
I really hit bottom yesterday when I received a notice from my insurance saying they're not going to cover most of my dental work and the portion that I need to cover is $1200. I bawled my eyes out. It's such a stupid thing to cry over but I think it was just my breaking point. After a good 12 hour cry and How I Met Your Mother marathon I started to feel better (plus, talking with a co-worker who gave great insurance appeal advice). After taking some time to really examine my life and my heart I've come to a few conclusions:
I cannot count on my boyfriend (or anyone, for that matter) to help me
I don't mean this in a depressing, "everyone dies alone" super dramatic way. I just have to release and recognize that the only person who can change my life is me. I can't waste my time hoping for some magical solution to bring itself to me and fix all of my problems. If I'm not happy being this broke or living this way I'm the one responsible for fixing it.
My worth isn't what I own or where I live
Facebook and Pinterest are dangerous, evil places. That article I mentioned above talked about when it comes to social networking people create their own "brand" (like companies marketing a product). No one goes on to Facebook to advertise what a fuck up they are or how they gained weight or lost a job or whatever. People go on to Facebook to post vacation photos and celebrity encounters. People only share the good times, not the bad and that's not reality. I have to spend less time on social media for my own mental health and happiness and I have to remind myself that most people are only "advertising" the good times, not the bad and for the most part everyone struggles with some aspect of life.
I need to maintain perspective
I've mentioned before that when sad times hit I usually give myself a day to deal with how sad/depressed I feel. I throw a mean pity party. There's drinking, excessive crying, blaming God, and lots of couch time. It's great but it's not a party I want to go to often. So, while I think it's healthy to work through emotions I don't want to dwell on them. This is where perspective comes in. If, after my one day pity party extravaganza, I keep dwelling I must remind myself how lucky I truly am. In the past week one of the stories catching the attention of the nation is about a beautiful, young woman who cut herself while zip-lining and got infected with a flesh eating bacteria. While doctors think she may live they have had to amputate one entire leg, her remaining foot, and at least one of her hands (not to mention soft tissue on her abdomen). Whenever my mind tries to drift back to that "woe is me" place I imagine sitting down with this 24 year old woman and trying to explain to her how hard my life is. The ridiculousness of it snaps me right back to normal thought. Yes, I have debt. Yes, I have HUGE debt but I didn't get most of my body cut off. Heck, worse stuff happens to people everyday than debt.
I can't wait on fate
I keep waiting for someone or something to change my life. While I do believe we all have a destiny I think sometimes I use "fate" as a crutch so I don't have to make decisions. My anxiety stems from the overwhelming fear that I'm making the wrong decision. I've messed up in the past and now I feel terrified that I'll once again fuck something up. But I can't live that way. I have to take control of my own life even if it's scary.
I'm honestly not sure what I'm going to do. I have a few ideas but they're big and scary life changing ones. I just know that I'm not happy right now and I want to change that . I want to be free of this debt, I want to one day own a house, I want to be happy.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
What I'm Thankful For
So I've realized that often times I sound incredibly ungrateful on this blog. Despite my best efforts I can easily slip into a "woe is me" pity party. SO, because I don't want to be that kind of person I've decided to compile a list of things that I am thankful for. Perhaps I should have done this on Thanksgiving but Christmas day is a good enough time to take a second and appreciate how lucky I really am (even if I'm broke as a joke!).
What I am Thankful for:
1. My family (especially my Mom). There's a MILLION reasons I'm so thankful for my family. I doubt I could list them all if I tried. My family loves me, they support me, and I have zero doubt that they would do anything for me. While I grew up poor, I grew up loved which is so much more important. In my line of work I see what can happen to women who grow up thinking that they don't deserve a certain level of love. While I may be single and broke this holiday season I'm in this position because I was able to get an education and because I knew I deserved a higher level of respect and love from a boyfriend than what I was receiving. If that's not a blessing in disguise I don't know what is.
2. That my "poor/broke" is first world level "poor/broke". Yes, I'm broke but I'm not third-world-I'm-about-to-die-of-malnutrition-broke. I may struggle to make ends meet but I have a home. I have access to a heater on these sort of cold Texas nights. I have food. I have a TV for Christ's sake! I'm so blessed even in my broke state.
3. My Job. I love my job. Seriously. I love my co workers, I love what I do, I love the fact that I have job security and I don't pay a single cent for health care. That's amazing. I'm proud of what I do and not many people can say that.
4. My Friends. I could almost copy and paste what I wrote for my family and stick it here. I have the best friends in the world. When I was going through a really rough home life with an ex they gave me a place to stay. They took care of my dog. They send supportive texts and emails when I'm sad and despite the fact that we all lead such busy lives we all make time at least once a week to see each other. I trust them and I have a hard time trusting ANYONE. They've seen me through highs and lows and I love them like they were my family.
5. Booze. C'mon. It's awesome. Also, I have no addiction to it which is pretty rad. I've cut WAY back due to my cough and the fact that I don't want to get pulled over on "No refusal weekend". I've seen the way that alcohol addiction can destroy lives and I'm thankful that I can enjoy booze but I'm not a slave to it. Heck, the other weekend I was the designated driver, Go me!!
6. That nothing REALLY unfair and shitty has happened to me (*knock on wood*). Lots of unfair and shitty things happen every day. Some poor girl got her hand sliced off and may lose her eye because she walked into an airplanes propeller. She did so because she turned around too quickly because she wanted to thank the pilot. That fucking sucks. It came out this year that Penn State was perfectly aware that Sandusky was molesting children and they didn't do shit about it. Imagine if you were that child. You're getting raped in a shower and an adult walks in and you think that you're saved and that grown man just turns around and leaves. That's beyond shitty, that's inhuman. While I believe my loan re-payment is completely unfair it's not even CLOSE to how sad and unfair life can be sometimes.
While this list doesn't even come close to giving thanks to how amazing my life is it's definitely nice to see in black and white how truly lucky and blessed I am. I have a car so I can easily get to work, I can vote, I have enough extra money so I can live in a safe area, I have enough extra money to get beers with friends. Life is amazing and if my only complaint is that my student loans are bananas then I am beyond blessed.
Get ready: coming soon, my New Years Resolution and What Rocked Me the Most in 2011. Gotta love end of year lists <3
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