What I'm Thankful For

So I've realized that often times I sound incredibly ungrateful on this blog. Despite my best efforts I can easily slip into a "woe is me" pity party. SO, because I don't want to be that kind of person I've decided to compile a list of things that I am thankful for. Perhaps I should have done this on Thanksgiving but Christmas day is a good enough time to take a second and appreciate how lucky I really am (even if I'm broke as a joke!).

What I am Thankful for:

1. My family (especially my Mom). There's a MILLION reasons I'm so thankful for my family. I doubt I could list them all if I tried. My family loves me, they support me, and I have zero doubt that they would do anything for me. While I grew up poor, I grew up loved which is so much more important. In my line of work I see what can happen to women who grow up thinking that they don't deserve a certain level of love. While I may be single and broke this holiday season I'm in this position because I was able to get an education and because I knew I deserved a higher level of respect and love from a boyfriend than what I was receiving. If that's not a blessing in disguise I don't know what is.

2. That my "poor/broke" is first world level "poor/broke". Yes, I'm broke but I'm not third-world-I'm-about-to-die-of-malnutrition-broke. I may struggle to make ends meet but I have a home. I have access to a heater on these sort of cold Texas nights. I have food. I have a TV for Christ's sake! I'm so blessed even in my broke state.

3. My Job. I love my job. Seriously. I love my co workers, I love what I do, I love the fact that I have job security and I don't pay a single cent for health care. That's amazing. I'm proud of what I do and not many people can say that.

4. My Friends. I could almost copy and paste what I wrote for my family and stick it here. I have the best friends in the world. When I was going through a really rough home life with an ex they gave me a place to stay. They took care of my dog. They send supportive texts and emails when I'm sad and despite the fact that we all lead such busy lives we all make time at least once a week to see each other. I trust them and I have a hard time trusting ANYONE. They've seen me through highs and lows and I love them like they were my family.

5. Booze. C'mon. It's awesome. Also, I have no addiction to it which is pretty rad. I've cut WAY back due to my cough and the fact that I don't want to get pulled over on "No refusal weekend". I've seen the way that alcohol addiction can destroy lives and I'm thankful that I can enjoy booze but I'm not a slave to it. Heck, the other weekend I was the designated driver, Go me!!

6. That nothing REALLY unfair and shitty has happened to me (*knock on wood*). Lots of unfair and shitty things happen every day. Some poor girl got her hand sliced off and may lose her eye because she walked into an airplanes propeller. She did so because she turned around too quickly because she wanted to thank the pilot. That fucking sucks. It came out this year that Penn State was perfectly aware that Sandusky was molesting children and they didn't do shit about it. Imagine if you were that child. You're getting raped in a shower and an adult walks in and you think that you're saved and that grown man just turns around and leaves. That's beyond shitty, that's inhuman. While I believe my loan re-payment is completely unfair it's not even CLOSE to how sad and unfair life can be sometimes.

While this list doesn't even come close to giving thanks to how amazing my life is it's definitely nice to see in black and white how truly lucky and blessed I am. I have a car so I can easily get to work, I can vote, I have enough extra money so I can live in a safe area, I have enough extra money to get beers with friends. Life is amazing and if my only complaint is that my student loans are bananas then I am beyond blessed.

Get ready: coming soon, my New Years Resolution and What Rocked Me the Most in 2011. Gotta love end of year lists <3

Dark Chocolate Peppermint Ice Cream

What you'll need:

-Ingredients for basic vanilla ice cream for an ice cream machine (eggs, sugar, milk, cream)

-Peppermint extract (store brands are super cheap)

-Crushed peppermint candy

-Dark chocolate chips

If you don't have an ice cream machine just use the No Machine Ice Cream recipe listed in this post. Seriously easy; heavy whipping cream and sweetened condensed cream. BAM.

I got a little fancy and bought Hershey's special dark chocolate and pre-crushed peppermint

Helpful tips:

-Make the regular recipe for vanilla ice cream (except go easy on vanilla and add a dash or two of peppermint extract to taste) and run it through the machine. Pour the thickened ice cream into a bowl and THEN mix in the crushed candy. Trust me on this this. I tried to save time or whatever by mixing the candy into the liquid-y before stage and ALL of the candy sunk to the bottom and stuck to the ice cold canister. It was a freakin' mess.

The result, note, at home versions may turn out less Instagram-y.

Now, I'm going to sit here on my first day off in 13 days and enjoy Christmas ice cream and Law and Order on instant Netflix.

It's never easy

My weekend is almost over but like they say there's no rest for the weary. My weekend was spent picking up shifts from my old retail job and battling a cold. Each alone is perfectly fine but combined makes for a very grumpy Pour Girl. But I'm the first to admit it really doesn't take much to make me grumpy. While my cold isn't terrible the idea of feeling slightly under the weather and going and working a 10 hour shift setting up a Christmas show isn't exactly having me jump for joy. I am, however, incredibly thankful that my old job gives me shifts because I am dead broke.

So, because I can't update with new recipes because I haven't had anytime to cook, here are a few news articles and general internet updates that affect my life.

Tips on Fighting a Cold

1. Strategy #1: Eat an Antiviral Breakfast: All I have/can afford is eggs for breakfast. Whether or not they'll cure my lousy cold is up to God.

2. Strike back with Stress: apparently a little stress is good for your while too much is terrible? I'm either the healthiest person in the world or I'm a ticking time bomb of death.

3. Brew a cup of Cold virus killer: aka drink hot tea (no shit)

4. Recharge your immune response: aka sleep more (again, no shit, if sleeping more was an option trust me I'd be there)

5. Vitamin D: My God really? I feel like some poor sap had to create web site content and slapped this list together out of the most obvious pieces of information.

6. Take a Walk: I wake up early to make sure I can make it to the gym but does the cut time sleeping negate the time at the gym? This shit is confusing.

7. Get a Massage: too broke :(

8. Fire up the crock pot: Definitely did this. I made a giant vat of chicken noodle soup yesterday that I think is actually helpful.

In news that is infuriating/life is all a giant joke: Woman leaves $13 million Fortune to Cat

Not the actual cat in question but I think it's safe to say this cat has more money than I do

Are you kidding me? Are you FUCKING kidding me?? Millions of dollars left to make sure a cat is okay???? Don't get me wrong, I love animals, I was a vegan for years because the idea of eating animals honestly upset me but this is too fucking much. $13 million is the kind of fortune that can change lives. There were probably children starving within a mile radius of this old bat but her primary concern was whether or not a cat was taken care of? Cats can take care of themselves! They can live on the streets and eat mice and be perfectly fine. Children cannot. She could have given the money to shelters that help abused woman, schools that are underfunded, the homeless, AIDs research, ANYTHING but one cat. I don't want to be cruel here but maybe the reason that this old bat suffered from loneliness her whole life was because the people around her got really fucking sick of her making stupid fucking decisions like giving a fortune to a Goddamn cat.

I can't. I just can't.

So I was going to post another article about the benefits of coffee because I like the idea that my daily habit is a healthy one and not a terrible choice but unfortunately I have to run and work my second job. Because I'm broke. Here's the article. Enjoy.

Getting older is hard

Lots has changed and lots has stayed the same. I'll try to wrap up the last few weeks of my life concisely but I'm usually long winded and rambling so just deal.

Things to cover:

1. Thanksgiving

2. Boyfriend stuff

3. Birthday

Okay, Ready, Set, GO!

Thanksgiving:

It was lovely. Went home, I rarely get to see my family due to my schedule so hanging with them was awesome. It was the first Thanksgiving in 7 years that I ate meat so everything tasted extra delicious.

Everything tasted so delicious and my Mom sent me home with tons of left overs. I didn't have to buy food for a week. She also sent me home with around 9 giant bags of pasta. I think she worries that I don't eat.

Fudgy Pecan Pie a la mode.

I wish I could say that I was the genius that come up with a chocolate-pecan combo pie but alas that was (my hero) Bakerella. Woman is a genius with decadent desserts. Here is the recipe. Super easy and surprisingly cheap. Pecans can be a bit pricey but since half of the pie is taken up with brownie batter I only spent $4.00 on pecans.

Boyfriend and Birthday

I guess I can combine number 2 and 3. I broke up with my boyfriend on my birthday. Which sucked but sort of didn't. It's hard to describe. My ex is an amazing person who has honestly made me better in so many ways. But I was having a hard time dealing with some things that happened while we were still courting (is that term acceptable to use by someone under 60??). Of course he had to make it hard for me by buying me a bunch of sweet presents. He knew I wanted an ice cream maker but didn't have the money so he bought me a nice one. It has a candy crusher too :(

He also got me other sweet things: holiday themed flavored coffee creamer (my grocery store doesn't carry it), cute Halloween stickers, and a shot glass/measuring cup.

Breaking up with him sucked and I cried my eyes out but it had to be done. I couldn't keep picking the same fight. Being mad without any resolve was a terrible feeling and I care about him too much to constantly make him feel bad. He told me that he "closes the book" on exes which means he was never going to talk to me again. Apparently his resolve isn't that great because he texted me this morning. I had sent him an email last night with links to the shows we used to watch together so he wouldn't miss out. He texted me saying that he had the tub to my ice cream maker and wanted to make sure I got it. We're meeting for drinks tomorrow.

Other than that not much has changed. I did revamp my Ebay store because I was just having drama that I did not want to deal with. A few people weren't getting their packages and I don't have the time to deal with things like that. I'm trying to sell the rings whole sale and I haven't even listed the earrings again. Basically, my only desire in this whole world is to sit on my couch all day long and watch Netflix instant. Winter always brings me down and I have to make efforts not to be so slothful.

So if you're in the market for whole sale jewelry here's the link to my store.

1 Minute Kahlua Brownie in a Cup

I have the worst sweet tooth of all time. OF ALL TIME. I love cake like a fat kid loves cake. As a child this love did in fact contribute to me being a fat kid. And while there's nothing wrong with being fat (or chubby!) in any way that's not really a place I want to go back to.

I've battled with my sweet desires as best I can. For instance, after Girls Night I force any left over sweets on my friends. Most of them live with husbands/boyfriends so the sugar can be split evenly where as in my case if I take a pan of brownies home all of them will be shoved into my gaping mouth hole. Another key tactic is to just not buy the junk, if there is a pint of ice cream in the freezer I will eat it all.

Unfortunately I can't be strong all of the time but there are ways to get a sugar fix without busting my pants! A few years ago I discovered the most beautiful thing in the world: Single serving brownie in a mug ready in one minute. So perfect. So simple. Now instead of trying to portion out a pan of brownies when a craving hits I can just make one brownie and enjoy!

Recipe

1 T Vegetable oil
1 T Water
dash salt
1 T Unsweetened cocoa powder
2 T Granulated sugar
2 T Flour

**The recipe at the link has the portions doubled and also has vanilla but I prefer a smaller portion (sometimes) and no vanilla.

Now, if you've been following this blog I'm sure you know booze helps me through most of life. Not that my life is particularly hard but anyone who spends as much time as I do on hold with Wells Fargo needs some fucking liquor. That is why I, in all my glory and wisdom, have improved the wonderful Brownie in a Cup recipe.

Kahlua Brownie in a Cup

1 T Vegetable oil
1 T Kahlua (or more, you know, for flavor and shit)
dash salt
1 T Unsweetened cocoa powder
2 T Granulated sugar
2 T Flour

So wonderful and goes nicely with Pour Girls Kahlua Cocoa:

Soy Milk

Kahlua

Cocoa

Enough marshmallows to kill a man

I find booze-y sweets very nice as I sit in my apartment and contemplate breaking up with my boyfriend and possible crying....a lot. Ah, the joys of my mid-twenties.

I don't want this post to end on such a sour/sad note so here is a picture that gets me through hard times:

Have you ever seen anything so wonderful????

Wells Fargo is Mind Fucking Me

So after weeks of pure hell trying to deal with Wells Fargo it looks like I might finally get my loans consolidated. YAY, right? NOPE. It appears that Wells Fargo is the king of mind fucks. Seriously, I doubt anyone could touch the bull shit this bank has put me and my family through.

If you remember my original loan monthly payment was $821. My new monthly re payment is......* Drum roll*


Yep, $748.68!! A whooping saving of $72.32. After weeks of tears and stress and ulcers that kept me up at night it's all worth it because I saved less than a hundred-fucking-dollars. Don't worry it gets better.

As it turns out I have a special relationship with Wells Fargo. So special that I get a MASSIVE discount of 0.250%. All along I thought Wells Fargo was fucking me out of hate and spite but it's clear they're fucking up my life out of love.

I always thought I was good at math but after looking at this bank statement it's clear that I know nothing about numbers. I borrowed around $80,000 which is somehow $91,000 and then $91,000 equals $224,000. SUPER. I could have gotten a better deal with the mob. The original amount of $821 a month projected I end up paying around $147,000...how did consolidation make it worse????

I fucking hate this whole thing. I should have never gone back to school, the increase I get in pay with another degree will never equal what I will pay out in a life time. I feel like I will never escape this debt. It feels like a punishment, a life sentence of stress. I'd have an easier time trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon. It's to the point I'm starting to think crazy thoughts, like, maybe I should do porn or nude photos. So glad I got a great education that can only be paid back through whore-dom. Also, throwing myself in front of a city bus or maybe black mailing a politician. Both equally appealing at this point in my life. Charging my boyfriend for sex? SEEMS REASONABLE. Rob a casino a la Oceans Eleven? TOTALLY DOABLE.

I'm emailing friends asking if they know about jobs, I'm picking up shifts at my old work, I'm trolling Craigslist like a fiend. I just want to live in world where re-paying my student loans doesn't mean killing myself with work or having to live the life of a pauper.

Since there's nothing I can do about this bullshit (at least at this point and time) I'm going to use the last hours of my day off to drown myself in a bottle of skunk wine and television. Also, eventually brownies. And yes, I did say skunk wine. I have to drink old skunk-y wine because I can't afford a $5 bottle of Yellow Tail.

p.s. please buy stuff from my Ebay. Please.

Awesome Week Rap-Up

So Fun Fun Fun Fest was a blast. I wasn't able to attend Sunday but the shows on Friday and Saturday were amazing. The tickets were around $160 for the 3 day fest (purchased before my financial crisis....or sort of at the beginning....the line up was totally worth breaking out my credit cards).

Despite the hefty ticket price I didn't spend that much money. I transferred $50 from my Pay Pal account to fund whatever I might need. It was nice to know that I had earned enough money through re-selling to fund some fun. The fest was located downtown and I was worried about the parking situation. I found out that my job provides free parking at a garage downtown so for the two days that I went I didn't pay anything for parking and I only had to walk a block to the show. My tummy's been on the fritz all week so I wasn't craving a ton of alcohol which was good because booze was hella expensive. A 24 oz can of beer was $9 :(

So giant in my tiny, tiny hand.

The crowd was giant and the line up was amazing.

The crowd behind me at M83.

The crowd in front of me at M83.

Sno Cone heaven.

The Damned closing out the night on Saturday.

After Fun Fun Fun I didn't think my week could get any better or be topped in any way. Then my girlfriends surprised me with a sweet Dia de los Muertes themed birthday party.

Tres Leches cake.

The amazing spread.

So my week has been amazing. I have great friends and I'm eating left over cake for lunch. I still haven't heard anything about a second job which is upsetting but I'll figure it out. Jewelry sales have been steady and good, I'm not rich but I'm getting good reviews and that makes me happy. I'll probably order a few more pieces and really push hard for Christmas. Life is really good.