If you remember my original loan monthly payment was $821. My new monthly re payment is......* Drum roll*
Yep, $748.68!! A whooping saving of $72.32. After weeks of tears and stress and ulcers that kept me up at night it's all worth it because I saved less than a hundred-fucking-dollars. Don't worry it gets better.
As it turns out I have a special relationship with Wells Fargo. So special that I get a MASSIVE discount of 0.250%. All along I thought Wells Fargo was fucking me out of hate and spite but it's clear they're fucking up my life out of love.
I always thought I was good at math but after looking at this bank statement it's clear that I know nothing about numbers. I borrowed around $80,000 which is somehow $91,000 and then $91,000 equals $224,000. SUPER. I could have gotten a better deal with the mob. The original amount of $821 a month projected I end up paying around $147,000...how did consolidation make it worse????
Yep, $748.68!! A whooping saving of $72.32. After weeks of tears and stress and ulcers that kept me up at night it's all worth it because I saved less than a hundred-fucking-dollars. Don't worry it gets better.
As it turns out I have a special relationship with Wells Fargo. So special that I get a MASSIVE discount of 0.250%. All along I thought Wells Fargo was fucking me out of hate and spite but it's clear they're fucking up my life out of love.
I always thought I was good at math but after looking at this bank statement it's clear that I know nothing about numbers. I borrowed around $80,000 which is somehow $91,000 and then $91,000 equals $224,000. SUPER. I could have gotten a better deal with the mob. The original amount of $821 a month projected I end up paying around $147,000...how did consolidation make it worse???? I fucking hate this whole thing. I should have never gone back to school, the increase I get in pay with another degree will never equal what I will pay out in a life time. I feel like I will never escape this debt. It feels like a punishment, a life sentence of stress. I'd have an easier time trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon. It's to the point I'm starting to think crazy thoughts, like, maybe I should do porn or nude photos. So glad I got a great education that can only be paid back through whore-dom. Also, throwing myself in front of a city bus or maybe black mailing a politician. Both equally appealing at this point in my life. Charging my boyfriend for sex? SEEMS REASONABLE. Rob a casino a la Oceans Eleven? TOTALLY DOABLE.
I'm emailing friends asking if they know about jobs, I'm picking up shifts at my old work, I'm trolling Craigslist like a fiend. I just want to live in world where re-paying my student loans doesn't mean killing myself with work or having to live the life of a pauper.
Since there's nothing I can do about this bullshit (at least at this point and time) I'm going to use the last hours of my day off to drown myself in a bottle of skunk wine and television. Also, eventually brownies. And yes, I did say skunk wine. I have to drink old skunk-y wine because I can't afford a $5 bottle of Yellow Tail.
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